Reincarnation is the heretical belief held by infidels and many foreigners. It states that when you die you don't go to see the Baby Jesus, but instead return to America's planet as some other life form. What you come back as depends on your karma score.
Ontological fallacy of reincarnation Edit
- If reincarnation existed why don't Buddhists come back as something totally awesome and convince us they're right, so we can all be saved and the world can become a better place?
- Nixo facto reincarnation is nonsense!
Known thine enemy! Edit
When confronting reincarnation nuts it's important to know how they think. That way you can defeat them by dazzling them with your vast and superior knowledge of their false religion. Of course, just stamping on a passing ant will also crush their morale and bring them to tears. Either strategy is good.
Here is an example of how karma scores (which range between 600 and 2400) equate to what lifeform you are reincarnated into, if reincarnation were real, which it's not!
- 2400: Stephen Colbert's intern
- 2301-2399: Bush family member
- 2251-2300: Truthiness monkey
- 2201-2250: Colbert Nationalist
- 2101-2200: Honest, God-fearing red-state Republican
- 1701-2000: Saginaw Spirit mascot
- 1501-1700: Elephant
- 1401-1500: Dolphin
- 1301-1400: Independent-voting American
- 1201-1300: Non-French European
- 1001-1200: Cat
- 801-1000: Cockroach
- 751-800: Liberal
- 701-750: French person
- 651-700: Liberal
- 601-650: Terrorist
- 600: Bear