Regular Americans are the people who define America and her values.
Qualities That Define Regular AmericansEdit
- Middle to upper class families. However, you must idealize blue-collar workers while secretly praying that your child doesn't become one.
- Live in small towns or suburbs.
- White, though Negroes and other minorities are acceptable if they can be assimilated.
- Protestant Christian, though Catholics and Jews are okay. Mormons may be accepted someday as well because they hate gays.
- A family with two married, opposite-sex parents. Single mothers not allowed because they're all Welfare Queens.
- Republican. Duh.
What Real Americans AvoidEdit
- Elitist Ivy League schools
- Big cities because they corrupt our values.
- Any place that hasn't had a lynch mob in the past 100 years.
- Non-Americanized minorities.
- Gays. As Joe the Plumber has said, its okay to have gay friends so long as they stay away from your children.
People Who Are Regular AmericansEdit
- Joe Sixpack
- Joe the plumber
- John Q. Public
- Jane Q. Public
- Harry and Louise
- Mr. and Mrs. America
- Little Johnny, a student
- Little Sally, another student