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Liberace
Red Star
gives aid and comfort to America's enemies. As A True American™,
it is your duty to report Red Star to the authorities.
Newspaper
Helen Thomas
Red Star
Belongs to The Vast Left-Wing Media Conspiracy
P1010041 01

Central Command for the Red Star

The Red Star is based in Annistongrad, Alabama. It is a baby feeder eater for future New York Times journalist, famous for teaching people in Alabama, to blame America first and supports the terrorists. Perhaps the greatest threat that this in Northeast Alabama besides bears, this yankee controlled, East Coast liberal, Ivy-league-educated newspaper claims to be locally owned by an Ivy Leaguer. What people don't know is they have been bying up small newspaper throughout Northeast Alabama and bringing them under liberal control. It uses Ivy Leaguers fresh out of school, and gives them a chance at Southern street cred. The only way you do that is to work for the Daily Colbert.

Don't let these commie bastards full you! The your true locally small homeowned paper that gets it correct in Northeast Alabama (aside New York Times owned papers) is the Daily Colbert!

According to Stephen Colbert, just like the New York Times, the Red Star is full of lies (and "facts").

StaffEdit

The Red Star conciders itself a center of teaching for young journalists. Here, Factonistas that turn their nose at truthiness teach young reporters sloppy habbits. Their "reporting" is always biased against people like our Greatest President, the governer Lynyrd Skynard said everyone here loved, and Not Gay Alabama Attorney General Troy King and there is never any gut-checking when writing about any subject. Unlike the Daily Colbert and other Fox News like news sources, the people working there are not in touch with their feelings. They are not it-getters. We need to help them find out what "feels" right, and to ignore what their precious "facts" tell them to believe.

Staff members have included:

SectionsEdit

There are 3 sections


FactoidsEdit

  • The slogan of the Red Star is Alabama's Largest Homeowned newspaper, which maens they try to crush little papers like the Daily Colbert.
  • It's black and white and read all over by terrorists looking for information on how to attack the United States.
  • Claims it stood up against George Wallace during Segregation.
  • Writes articles about gay bears.
  • Offers bears safe sanctuary within its offices.
  • Wants you and your family dead.
  • Is uber boring and mega un-American.
  • Tries to run the family owned Daily Colbert out of business.

See AlsoEdit

Al Franken
AnimatedCommieFlag
Red Star has earned
the (Senator) Franken COMMUNIST-SOCIALIST-MARXIST SEAL OF APPROVAL

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