|Release Date:||June 13, 2011|
|Director:||Atenea del Sol|
|Screenwriter:||Stephen Colbert, God|
|Starring:|| RUSSEL CROWE,|
THE GODDESS ATHENA,
and BEN AFFLECK
|Editor:||Bobby the Stage Manager|
Recount 2: Truthiness Boogaloo is a dramatized account of the 2008 Truthiness Awards at Wikiality.com. It forms part of a cycle of films on the historic recount, along with Recount 2: The Recountering and an as-yet unnamed third project, to be directed by Sneakers
The race was very tight for Writer of the Year, causing both Dann135 and Atenea del Sol to believe themselves the winner of the coveted award. Initial results indicated that Dann was in fact the winner, but irregularities in the voting prompted an automatic recount. During this time, the two contenders engaged in a battle royale, each accusing the other of more and more horrible things, and promising retribution.
The conflict between the two rose to a head when both got simulntaneous movie deals for the war they had been having. Dann was only able to secure two actors, Sylvester Stallone and Amy Winehouse, to star in his version. Atenea secured significantly more, and her version of the picture won out (as is seen in the poster). Dann was originally cast as a cockroach, but part of his last-minute capitulation stipulated that if Atenea would recast him as Robert Downey Jr, he'd concede the race. As she was unable to secure him, she had Dann recast as Russell Crowe, and Dann135 conceded the race to her. Dann later brokered a deal with Atenea's studio to film a parellel version of the events using the same cast and sets.
Shortly after this deal was brokered, the official results of the race were certified and released. The films detail the battle and aftermath of the 2008 Truthies.
At the close of voting of the 2008 Truthiness Awards, the race for Best Writer was tight - down to one vote between the Strategeristic and Charismatic Atenea del Sol, a political and economic satirist, and the Goofy but Loveable Dann135, an entertainment writer. After erroneous results are posted, the two begin the war to end all wars to determine the true winner, while the votes are painstakingly recounted by hand by WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer, a former Truthy winner himself, who will act as final arbitor of the two writers' fates. Meanwhile, the warfare escalates to such a point that entire buildings are destroyed and the weather patterns of the Southern United States are disrupted. Who will be the winner? Who will go home in tears? Will Florida's weather ever return to normal? And what about the "Mexican" Crack Lawyers?
Voting closes on the 2008 Truthiness Awards, with no clear winner in sight (despite an early declaration for Dann135) and the mudslinging begins. Atenea del Sol (the Goddess Athena) and Dann135 (Academy Award Winner Russell Crowe) assemble their teams for a battle royale that will shake Florida to its core. On Dann's side are Stephen Colbert, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Superman, and God. Atenea's team includes Esteban Colberto, Tek Jansen, a team of "Mexican" Crack Lawyers dispached from Bogota, the Al Franken legal team, a 6-megaton Stealth Basselope, and the Greek Pantheon, of which she is a member. Meanwhile, in a dark basement somewhere in California, WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer is tabulating and recounting the votes.
At the outset, Colbert is pitted against his own creation, Tek Jansen, and their ensuing fistfight lays waste to a number of Miami's schools and libraries, with no clear winner in sight. Esteban Colberto dies a valiant death fighting the capitalistic ways of The Decider and his sidekick Dick, the Boy Blunder, and Superman is also knocked out of the game by the Greatest President in a fight that destroys the Library of Congress. Cheney succumbs to a massive heart attack when faced by Atenea's lovely and nubile younger sister, Aphrodite. Zeus and Poseidon combine forces to bring a hurricane unlike any seen before to the shores of the Sunshine State.
While Dann, his team decimated by Atenea's offensive, threatens Atenea with ingnominity and obscurity she dispaches the "Mexian" Crack Lawyers and the Stealth Basselope to Dann's Florida address, promising him the full "Jimmy Hoffa" treatment.
Flashback - WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer is abducted by a rowdy band of Mexicans and taken to Acapulco, where they fill him full of tequila and marijuana, then dump him, smashed out of his skull, at the border fence for the US authorities to deal with.
The Crack Lawyers arrive at Dann's Florida home, and immediately set about converting the place into a house of disrepute, and while their leader, one Sr. Escobar (Academy Award Winner Benicio del Toro), holds Dann hostage at a local Holiday Inn Express. Dann is subjected to Abu Ghraib-style tortures while imprisoned, and eventually capitulates, promising to concede the race to Atenea del Sol, if only Sr. Escobar will stop waterboarding him. But, The second Sr. Escobar Turns Dann Loose, Dann Kills him, But, Being a man of his word, Dann prepares for his concession. The Stealth Basselope fails to detonate, but does leave some lovely packages on Dann's lawn. Dann holds a tearful press conference, ceding the race to Atenea.
Meanwhile, in a dank and mysterious basement somewhere in America, the recount by the dark and brooding WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer (David Duchovny) is completed. Right in the middle of Dann's concession speech, he intervenes and verifies that the race was in fact a three-way tie between Atenea, Dann, and a dark-horse candidate known only as Sneakers (Academy Award Winner Ben Affleck). Atenea is gracious in her victory, and calls off the Crack Lawyers - not a minute too soon for Dann, who was about to be arrested by Miami Vice for operating a brothel and killing Sr. Escobar. Atenea, although she secretly suspects that the final result was influenced by WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer's traumatic abduction by aliens during the recount process, extends her studio's offer to Sneakers, if he will produce the third volume in the Recount 2 trilogy.
The film ends with all three winners, sitting in their respective fortresses of solitude and continuing to write satire. The mysterious judge and final arbitor of the awards continues to stew in his conspiracy theories, eventually producing an Pulitzer Prize-winning novelization of his experiences with the aliens. As the final credits roll, each of the winning writers gets a phone call from Dr. Colbert himself....
Will Atenea run again in the 2009 Truthies? What did Dr. Colbert want with the candidates? Will Dann be arrested anyway? Who is this Sneakers guy? You won't want to miss the next installment in the Recount 2 series!
The title has been confirmed as: Recount 3: Return to hell, and is awaiting release.
- Nominee for Writer of the Year
- Dann135 - Academy Award Winner (Gladiator) Russel Crowe
- Nominee for Writer of the Year
- WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer - 2-time Golden Globe Winner (Californication, the X-Files) David Duchovny
- The mysterious and charismatic judge of the Awards
- The dark-horse candidate
- Sr. Escobar, leader of the "Mexican" Crack Lawyers - Academy Award Winner (Traffic) Benicio del Toro
- The handsome and cruel head of Atenea's legal team
- Esteban Colberto - Himself
- The charismatic and beloved host of Colberto Reporto Gigante
- Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA - 2-time Peabody Award Winner (The Colbert Report) Stephen Colbert
- Everybody knows and loves him
- Tek Jansen - Himself
- Pa-rum pum!
- Al Franken - Senator Al Franken (D) MN
- He won, too.
- The Al Franken Legal Team - Themselves
- A very scary threat indeed....
- The "Mexican" Crack Lawyers - Grammy Award Winners (El Satanico Dr. Cadillac) Los Fabulosos Cadillacs
- Who says recycling is bad?
- Dick Cheney - Academy Award Nominee (Platoon) Willem Dafoe
- Now 50% creepier
- Superman - 2006 SPIKE Award Winner (Superman Returns) Brandon Routh
- Who did you think it was going to be?
- God - Academy Award Winner (Million Dollar Baby) Morgan Freeman
- Who else?