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Races do NOT exist. There are just Americans and non-Americans. When Stephen Colbert looks at people, he does not see a white person, an Asian person, or a black person - he does not see color. All Stephen sees is a patriotic Jesus-loving American or a terro-liberal communist non-American. If everyone else was like Stephen, the problems with races would not exist.

Reasons to Believe That You Are WhiteEdit

People tell Stephen he's white, and he just takes their word for it because everyone at his country club is "white". Other reasons that Stephen believes he is white[1] include:

  • "Police call me sir"
  • "My double eyelids"
  • "I shop at Eddie Bauer"
  • "I own a lot of Jimmy Buffet albums"
  • "I don't have trouble getting a cab"
  • "I think Barack Obama is black"
  • "I have a late night talk show"
  • "I believe plums are harvested by sugar plum fairies."
  • "My fridge is full of drinkable yogurt"

Races as Liberal PropagandaEdit

Most people think races exist because of liberal propaganda. Liberals want to make everyone think that people who have ancestors from different places belong to different "races." They do this so they can implement undemocratic ideas such as affirmative action. These ideas don't provide "racial diversity," as liberals say, because racial diversity does not exist. All these ideas do is allow underqualified people to get better jobs. They do this to weaken our economy so they can then blame the bad economy on President Bush and the War on Terror. Their plan is to get the American people mad at Our President and to end the War on Terror so that the terrorists win. This is because liberals love terrorists.

Evidence Against RacesEdit

Liberals will tell you that the notion of races is backed by scientific evidence. They say that "genetic testing" and "differences in skin color" both prove that races exist. However, these liberals are thinking with their brains instead of their guts. Maybe the "facts" show that races exist, but using one's gut it is obvious that races do not exist. Besides, I have all the scientific evidence I need to believe races don't exist right here:http://hopeaglow.com/bible.GIF

The Bible mentions nothing about races, and only says that Adam and Eve were the first two people. Therefore, races don't exist.

Did You KnowEdit

President Bush once said "I cannot comprehend how different races would form." Some liberals will try to convince you that the reason for this quote is Bush is not smart enough to understand the forming of races, but the actual reason for it is that races don't exist.

External TubesEdit

FootnotesEdit

  1. although he cannot tell because he can't see color

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