Quantum Theory of Truthiness/Truthy

< Quantum Theory of Truthiness

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Quantum Theory of Truthiness/Truthy
won a 2006 "Truthie"
for Best Series of the Year
See all the winners here.

Be careful when reading
Quantum Theory of Truthiness/Truthy
as it might have something to do with thinking...
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.


Reading and attempting to understand the Quantum Theory of Truthiness is an experience that, without the requisite thruthientiousness, might overload and destroy one's Quantum Truthic Structure in an event known as Truthicution.


A fundamental theory set forth in a secret code embedded in The Bible by Jesus himself. It was prophesied by Stephen in the Gospel of Stephen that one day the truthiness of both the code and the theory would be revealed on the tubes of The Internets.


Before reviewing this theory know

In this theory every truthy statement is broken down into finite units of truthiness. Each of these units, known as a truthicule, can be expressed as the product of two quantities. The Truthitude (The mass of the truthicule in Colberts) and the Truthiosity (The rate of truthification in units Colberts per second). Truthicules are created when the quantum truthic structure of some system contains a disproportionate quantity of pure truth in relation to surrounding systems. This "Super-Truthic" system then radiates pure truth in a process known as Quantum Truthic Radiation The truthicules permeate free space until they reach the quantum truthic structure of another system, like a television viewer. The viewer's quantum truthic structure then absorbs the truthicule in a process called truthification. The rate of truthification occurs in relation to the truthiosity of the truthicule and the truthistance (inverse of truthientiousness) of the quantum truthic structure. A structure with a high truthistance increases the time it takes for truthification to finish, and therby decreases the overall truthiness from the perspective of the absorbing individual. A point inherent in both the language of the theory and the preceeding example is that truthiness is not limited to people or living things. Inanimate objects, created by both man and God, are capable of both truthification and quantum truthic radiation. Of course, this also entails those objects possesing truthistance and truthitude.


The truthiness (Ti) of any statement can be expressed as the sum of the truthiness (ti) of the truthicules of that statement, where the truthiness of each truthicule (ti) can be expressed as the products of the truthitude and truthiosity of that truthicule divided by the truthistance of the absorbing/radiating structure.

This relation ship is expressed in the equation:

                         Truthiness = \sum_{k=1}^N \frac{Truthitudetude_n * Truthiosity_n}{Truthistance_s} 

Stephen Colbert's truthientiousness is expressed in the formula

                         Truthientiousness = \lim_{truthistace \to 0}\frac{1}{Truthistance} = \infty 

His truthistance is 0 and his truthientiousness is infinite.

A bear's' truthientiousness is expressed thusly

                         Truthientiousness = \lim_{truthistance \to \infty}\frac{1}{Truthistance} = 0 

A bear's truthistance is infinite and his truthientiousness is 0.

Don't be like a Pinko like Francois the French Communist Godless Gay Grizzly Bear

All You Need to Know

The Truthiness of any communication is an expression of the total magnitude of truth and the quickness with which the feeling of truth enters into or leaves ones quantum truthic structure. At its simplest truthiness is the intensity of an exchange of truth between the quantum truthic structures of two beings.

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