"Prison Tycoon"
is for the kids!


Prison Tycoon is a video game that teaches America's children how to run the next trendy market in capitalism's greatest venture: running a private prison!


The object of Prison Tycoon is to increase your state's population to give your political party more representatives while incarcerating more people who are less likely to vote for them!

The winner is declared when there are no longer any opposing view points and your political party has a permanent majority at every level of government!

How To PlayEdit

Each player is given an unlimited amount of money (as long as 10% of it is donated to the political party of their choice).

The first few rounds are played to determine who gets which state to work in. During these rounds players try to outdo the others and whoever is caught in the most outrageous scandal is forgiven and gets to choose which states to open up shop in.

Once states are chosen, players start filling up cells employing law enforcment tools, which can be purchased with profits from the previously captured prisoners. The tools available for purchase are:

  • judges
  • sheriffs
  • talk radio hosts
  • churches
  • Tasers
  • billy clubs

Making Your BudgetEdit

Players of Prison Tycoon have an unlimited budget, but that doesn't mean you have to waste your hard earned cash on feeding and housing the rabble.

Points are awarded with every "liberal program" shut down in your shops. More points are available for most prisoners fed with the least amount of food, most prisoners per cell and largest monthly profit margin.

Wardens can also make money on the side by selling tickets to prisoner's conjugal visits!


There are an unlimited number of levels on Prison Tycoon as players are only limited by their imagination!

  • Level 1- There's a black man in my neighborhood! In this level players drive around capturing "suspects" who match the description of a criminal believed to be in the area.
  • Level 2- The Mexicans are Taking My Job! Level two involves the fine art of police surveillance. Each player must capture Mexicans, but not before they finish mowing the lawn or tending to someone else's children. Players lose points if a Mexican is captured before his shift is complete.
  • Level 3- Election Year Tough On Crime! In level 3, players are teamed up with an incumbent politician up for re-election who has to convince voters he is "tough on crime". Help your politician defeat his opponent by cramming your cells fuller than the mouth of a Senator visiting an airport bathroom.

Coming SoonEdit

  • Riot Police beat the hippie protesters!
  • Military Interrogator sodomize the children of suspects from the convenience of your own home!
  • Congressional Hearing learn to plead the Fifth in 17 languages!

External TubesEdit

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