U.S. President Stephen Colbert, 2009-2017

Stephen Colbert, running as both a Republican and a Democrat, swept the South Carolina primary in fall of 2008. He ran on a platform of being America.

Some suspect that the final results, Colbert 5,654,321 vs. Clinton 5,654,320, Kucinich 1, was decided by splitter Judge Greta Van Susterin, in landmark decision Colbert v. Clinton, that stopped the recount after so paper trail could be found.

In Colbert's term, he sold the United States military to China in order to pay for Social Security, and then, once he saved it, invaded China so that he could kick their asses and bring our troops home! He spent his first four years blaming Carter, and his last four balming the Clenis.

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