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Prescott Temporary Employment Agency

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THIS IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT


Prescott Temporary Employment Agency is your one-stop event services specialist.

We provide everything from food prep and photography to servers and security, if you are holding an event--big or small--all you'll need is Prescott!

How We Help YouEdit

OrganizationEdit

Prescott! will help organize your ideas into one fabulous extravaganza!

  • Is this your third wedding? But you want to break it to your ex without too much fanfare? And still get good press coverage?
  • Declaring the job finished? But not sure how to accomplish that wrap party?
  • Are you running for president? But you're trying to stiffen your military cred? In Iraq? And stay alive?
  • Have you started a quagmire in a foreign nation against all sane advice? Don't know how to still make a profit off it with everybody watching? Need a Show Czar to legitmize your adventure so you can plan your next move?

Our event coordinators will take your idea and turn it into a reality!

The SpectacleEdit

The spectacles created by Prescott harken back to the days of Busby Berkeley or David Lean; lavish, large and loud!

Every Prescott event includes no less than 1,000 "atmospheric actors" and we guarantee that all our events can be seen from space!

We have photographers of every variety from still to video. And if you're into that grungy look, we have dozens of cellphonographers ready to be dispatched to any place on the planet to get you on The YouTube instantly!

The kids love that kind of stuff!

Job OpportunitiesEdit

Prescott hires a core group of American workers to suppliment our international sub-contractors allowing us to provide the very best in event plannning on a global scale!

Every employee is trained to meet Prescott's high standards.

Applicants are rigorously checked for their service skills.

And best of all, we don't hire union, we don't hire accountants and we don't have an American address!

Internet WarriorEdit


TeabaggersEdit

Grassroots campaign needs volunteers to teabag the White House

  • applicants must be able to copy text faithfully transcribe information from a website onto an envelope and successfully mail a teabag
  • applicants must own their own stamps, envelopes and teabags
  • no high school required
  • please check with your local libertarian church for more information

"Paid Supporter"Edit

Insurance industry seeks atmospheric actors to fill several temporary positions, available immediately. May last a few days, years.

Position AvailableEdit

  • crowd filler
  • question asker
  • sign carrier

ExperienceEdit

  • no experience necessary
  • must speak, write English

LocationEdit

SalaryEdit

  • bus fare+light lunch (no health benefits)
  • Must pay your own bail

A Senator Who Can SingEdit

THIS OPPORTUNITIES HAS EXPIRED

  • Bipartisan singing group looking for a tenor to complete a quartet
    • must be discrete, hate to travel

The United States Department of JusticeEdit

THESE OPPORTUNITIES HAVE EXPIRED

  • eight or nine openings for the position of "attorney"
    • must have degree from qualified Christian university
    • must be young, perky, obedient

Indian Point Nuculer Power PlantEdit

Private power corporation seeks qualified security guards to protect our property and by extension our nation.

  • bring your own bedding [1]

Straight Talk Express TourEdit

Positions AvailableEdit

THESE OPPORTUNITIES HAVE EXPIRED

  • 1400 atmospheric actors, must be clean-cut, must have your own kevlar!
  • helicopter pilots (blackhawks a must!)
  • lookouts and decoys as needed

ExperienceEdit

  • no experience necessary
  • no diploma needed
  • criminal records okay
  • physical, mental disorders okay
  • fill out questionaire

LocationEdit

  • various locations throughout Iraq
  • onboard a Canadian bus as it drives to various locations throughout America

PentagonEdit

Position AvailableEdit

THIS OPPORTUNITY HAS EXPIRED

  • War Czar
  • must have suit collection
  • podium optional
  • strong head-nodding neck muscles
  • good tongue

ExperienceEdit

  • at least 6 months CEO experience
  • $500,000 processing fee (checks made out to PTEA)
  • fill out questionaire

LocationEdit

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