"Remember, if it's childproof, it's not Prescott!™"Episode #300
Prescott Pharmaceuticals is a division of The Prescott Group, and the makers of Vaxadrin, Vaxadrine, Vaxadrone (coming soon: Vaxadrone for baboons), Vaxa-Smacks, Vaxa-Dream, Vaxadril, Vaxachub, Vaxascab, Vaxasom, Vaxamaxx, Vaxamamm,Vaxacrest,Atomo Kleen, Drug, Liquid Launch, Vaxadoodle, "The first dog surgeon", Vaxaconda, Vacsaband, Ablibalify, and Vaxamalgum.
Prescott Pharmaceuticals is a proud sponsor of Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A..
guaranteed to change your life,
and possibly your genetic code.
The tingling tells you it's working,
the class action lawsuit tells you it's Prescott.
Good for what ails you.
And in some cases, actually what ails you.
We sincerely apologize
about that whole zombie thing.
You probably went blind
even without our products.
where you're a customer for life, no matter how short that will be.
The Prescott Promise™Edit
The Prescott Promise™ is the promise from Prescott PharmaceuticalsEpisode #300:
Personal Testimonials Edit
"I trust Prescott! I wanted to regrow my hair and IT WORKED! Just not where I wanted it, like on my head but now I can braid my genitals! HOW COOL IS THAT?!"
"My skin was blotchy in a very *sensitive* area. Thanks to Prescott, I no longer have to worry about 'down there.' Because I no longer have legs or an abdomen." -- Mary Plumber
"I'm Steven Colbert, and I have personally taken every drug offered by Prescott Pharmaceuticals. Honestly, I take them everyday before my show. To be even more truthful, it is because of pressure from the media. But, I am a capitalist, and they pay me upfront. So, I can bury my moral opinions in piles of cash. The drugs, however, have allowed me to see clearly and would like to share that the Illinois of University at Champana-Urbain is better than my alma mater, North-ish Westward University–and also that school I often talk about–Duntmouth. PS: I'm not Colbert, but it would be cool if I was.. oh wait.. I think Prescott has a pill for that!" -PJS
VAXA Product LineEdit
Due to pending lawsuits from VÄXA, Prescott Pharmaceuticals will discontinue their VAXA products... But not everything is bad news, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. is proud to announce that Prescott Pharmaceuticals is proud to introduce their VACSA product line!