Mastermedia International has picked February 22, 2007 as the day to Pray for Stephen.

Stephen has asked for specific things:

  • Gulfstream IV Jet
  • Power of Invisibility
  • To travel back in time to bare-knuckle fight Oliver Cromwell.

But, we here at don't want to limit American's good wishes for Our Glorious Stephen.

You may ask God, Jesus, The Baby Jesus or even The Blessed Virgin Mary to grant something to Our Glorious Stephen, who ever you ask, please post your prayers below.



Blessed Virgin Mother,

Please intercede with your son Jesus on behalf of Stephen, that he may receive his prayer of travelling back in time to defeat the infidel Cromwell for the glory of The One True Church. O Immaculate Mary, Queen of Heaven, have mercy on Stephen and all who love him, and please grant this request for holy bare-knuckled pugilism in the Lord's name.

Holy Mother, I place this cause into your hands, --thisniss 02:58, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

Dear Lord Baby Jesus,

Please have mercy on the soul of Stephen Colbert. His decision to retire for these two weeks against the your will according to the Ten Commandments is simply a cause of the lamestream, shamestream, liberal commu-media's attempt to silence the truth-givers. Give Our Glorious Leader the chance to expose President HUSSEIN Obama's lies and defeat the godless, killing machines known as BEARS!!!

Also, say hi to St. Ronnie of Reagan for me! And I want a pony. Thanks!

Heavenly Father,

Please grant Stephen the power over time and space for today, so that he may break his record of killing 284,743 Bear-Terrorrists today.

Heavenly Father,

Please grant Stephen's skeletal system a long and strong life, especially his back, so that he may always be able to carry around his massive, massive balls.

Amen. --WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 16:44, 7 February 2007 (UTC)

Blessed Lord,

Please make this week of reruns end quickly so that we may once again bathe in the glory of Stephen's wisdom.

Amen. --El Payo 01:47, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

Dear God:

Please don't strike down Stephen in his prime. Amen.--Rainydaypursuits 01:38, 21 February 2007

Dear All-that-is:

Please let Stephen father my child - the old-fashioned way. Please grant me the courage to take his manhood and the serenity to grow his seed. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God... Amen. --Angelina Jolie

Oh most holy Shiva,

Please allow your servant to beg for the blessing of time travel to be bestowed upon Stephen, so that he may return back in time and visit your wrath upon the infidel and heretic, Oliver Cromwell. And, if it pleases thee, please bestow upon Stephen a personal Gulfstream IV jet, as well.

Amen and Amen. --Becca-Bee

Greatest Athena, Goddess of wisdom and war,

Allow your most favored servant Stephen to punish all the Commies that were, that are, that ever will be, starting with that bear loving Michael Moore, then moving on down through the know, with Kim Jong Il and John Stewart. Allow him to strike down all that would threaten The Baby Jesus and The Greatest President, and make him the next President of the United States. --demonseed


Thanks to thousands of prayers, Stephen chose a 3 Musketeers bar from a vending machine, the only snack with a moral dimension: "All for one and one for all," just like the Holy Trinity, and like the Trinity, it has nougat too. If this keeps up, halos may soon replace tanning salons. Stephen is now praying that Mastermedia International will assign him a second prayer date, preferably Larry King's. You can help.

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