Power Rangers

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Hello, Kitty
Hello, Power Rangers
Asian and very good at math.
"Power Rangers"
is for the kids!


Power Rangers

The Power Rangers are a bunch of cute, perky teenagers who dress up in tights and fight giant foam rubber space terrorists on Saturday morning TV. They fight every week against Rita Repulsa, a sort of intergalactic Osama bin Laden, who attacks them with giant beasties because she hates their freedom. They fight her on Saturday morning so we don't have to face her on Fox's After-School Rock Block. And they do it all for what looks like a production budget of about $11.95.

These brave racist kids don't just prevent mini, G-rated 9/11s every week; they also protect the soul of America's youth. They teach kids about that greatest and most sacred of American values: vigilante justice carried out against foreigners. They're like the Minutemen for 10-year-olds (which is coincidentally the average mental age of new recruits). Plus, they encourage chastity; do you honestly think anyone of pubescent age who watches the show could get laid?

The Power Rangers are so patriotic and all-American, in fact, that we'll forgive them for including Asians without administering the proper loyalty oaths.

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