U Aint Here
Portland, Oregon
is not a Recognized City of the United States of America!
It is a city of Commies that has infiltrated Our Great Nation.

Portland, Oregon
Mayor: Tom Potter
City Motto: Seattle is THAT way.
Nickname: Rip City, Stumptown, Rose City, Ptown. Little Beirut
Theme Song: Legalize it
Population: A hundred BILLION
Standard MPH: 20 at all times. If someone is going over that, they are probably from California
Principal industries: Beer, Sneakers, and Liberals.
Fun Fact # 1: Often considered the Beer capitol of America, with nominations for the beer capitol of the world
Fun Fact # 2: It never rains, its actually quite sunny every day, we dont know what these Californians are talking about

Portland HistoryEdit

Decided by a flip of a coin between two brothers the name Portland won out over Compton for this pioneer town.

Portland TodayEdit

Whether its a hot cup of coffee or a bag of amphetamines, Portlanders know how to deal with the dark gray winters.

Popular Ethnic Neighborhoods In PortlandEdit

What ethnic neighborhoods?

Portland LandmarksEdit

Famous People From PortlandEdit

A Typical Day In PortlandEdit

Strange Portland LawsEdit

  1. Gay people could get married for a week.
  2. With the exception of cleaning the toilets of former UO students, Oregon State University grads are useless.

"Portland, Oregon"
is hippie-related, and not groovy to The Baby Jesus.
Al Franken
Portland, Oregon has earned

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