Poor People are the only reason America loses wars and pays taxes. Without poor people ruining the American Dream for everyone else, we would all have golden yachts and nine houses. Faced with an epidemic of poor people that was obviously Bill Clinton's fault, George W. Bush and God's Congress bravely did absolutely nothing in order to force these slackers to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
Why People Choose PovertyEdit
Since wealth is a sign that God loves you, it follows that poor people are Jesus-hating atheists who want to steal your money and kill your children. They are also in league with the Democrats and the New York Times as foot soldiers in a plot to turn America into a socialist hellhole, one community organizer at a time.
How To Spot A Poor PersonEdit
Your average poor person is a dirty, ragged-looking individual with permanent five o'clock shadow, broken teeth, and an array of colorful bindles. They may also have
black bad skin.