Pool Hall
can be found in any all-American hometown!
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
Baby Jesus
The Baby Jesus and The Baby Satan
are fighting over the very soul of
Pool Hall

Pool Hall
is Very Manly™.


Stephen "Three Ball" Colbert
It's a little known fact that Stephen Colbert himself is an accomplised pool shark. His pool hall "handle" celebrates his testicular abundance.


Teenage Criminal Breeding Ground
Professor Harold Hill had it right. Many of America's youth are led astray in these corrupted dens of iniquity enclaves of Manliness.

Gleason newman hustler

Lagging For Break
There are many subtle rituals observed in pool halls. Here, real life pool hustlers "Minnesota Fats" and "Fast Eddie" Felson demonstrate the lag, which determines who gets Jodie Foster first.


Pool Hall Slut
Hot chicks like Jodie Foster are drawn to pool halls to imbibe on drugs, get gang raped seduced and filled with bad boy man essence.

Pool Hall: (n.) PEWL HAWL First appeared: Brooklyn, NY Circa 1850

  1. An enclave of Manliness where sluts, whores, juvenile delinquents, bad boys and aging malcontents congregate to play pool and/or billiards, gamble, smoke cigarettes, take/sell drugs and engage in various and sundry criminal activities.
  2. Where all the T-R-O-U-B-L-E in River City, Iowa began.
  3. Where nice girls like Miss Marian, the Librarian don't ever go.

The Dangers of Pool HallsEdit


Pool Sharks
Left with idle hands and easy access to pool halls your precious children might just turn into Sharks.

The dangers to our youths are chronicled in the 1962 biography of Professor Harold "The Music Man" Hill.

Pool Halls And Popular CultureEdit

Dozens of documentaries have been filmed about the American icon that is the Pool Hall. The real life exploits of "Fast Eddie" Felson and "Minnesota Fats" are chronicled in 1961's "The Hustler," Fats returned in 1971 with "The Player" and Felson in 1986 with "The Color of Money." In which Felson tries to lead his young raging heterosexual protege Miss Vincent away from $cientology with Real American pursuits like booze, whores and gambling.

Other laudable tales of Pool Hall truthiness are to be found in "Pool Hall Junkies," "The Music Man" and "Shooting Gallery"

Pool Hall SnapshotsEdit


The Lure Of Satan
Satan seen here in the guise of the ghost of "Fats Brown" attemping to lure an innocent young Jesse Cardiff to a life of debauchery.

Dogs playing pool

Dogs Playing Pool
While the world sleeps Dogs meet at pool halls around the globe to brainstorm on how to defeat Satan and shoot a little stick.


Fast Eddie Felson
[Seen here in his 1961 biographical tribute to Manliness, "The Hustler). The iconic Felson brought teenage boys to pool halls by the millions.


Fast Eddie Felson
and Miss Vincent Lauria

Even a Real American like Fast Eddie and the testosterone enriched atmosphere of The Pool Hall couldn't lead this udoubtedly homo hetero homo heterosexual young man down a path of manliness.


More Pool Hall Sluts
Satan seems to provide an endless supply of fresh young temptresses to lead our man children down the wrong path.

See AlsoEdit


The Break
That sound is like no other and is music to the ears of all Manly Real Americans, hot babes, The Baby Jesus and the greatest pool shark that has ever lived,
Stephen "Three Ball" Colbert".

"Pool Hall"
is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

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