is an insidious part of the
Fancy-pantsification of America!
If you don't stop making fun of
it's going to cut itself!

Poetry (words)

  1. something to make real men look bad
  2. a way to get chicks


DramaticQuestionMark Did you know...

...Poe's success ratio at nailing identical twins was 43%, but his syphillis success ratio was 100%?

Poetry was invented by Edgar Allen Poe in 1829 during America's Romantic Movement as a way for him to get chicks. The original pronunciation of the word was "Poe-try", because Poe deployed the aphrodisiac qualities of rhyming couplets to try to nail identical twins. His lifetime "bedding couplets success average" was 43 percent.

The First Laureate Election ControversyEdit

Poe was elected as America's first Poet Laureate in 1845, claiming victory over his opponent Edgar Allen Gore. The election was a nail-biter as the newly minted state of Florida came into play with its two electoral college votes. The Supreme Court deemed all ballots with dangling participles were invalid, and Poe was ultimately acclaimed the winner.


America elects a poet to act as Poet Laureate to lead the nation in global word-related conflicts.

Types of PoetryEdit


Limericks are bawdy poems written by Limeys when they aren't in drunken brawls and bashing in each others' heads.

Here is an example of a Limerick:

There once was a Laureate named Pinsky
Who was feeling a little bit frisky
He lifted her dress
Beaver, can you guess?
'Twas Monica Lewinsky's.

is a part of's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

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