The platypus is a strange little creature from Australia. It is one of only two egg laying mammals in the world. It shares this rare trait with the echidna, but has a much cooler, less Mexican sounding name.
Jesus' favorite animal Edit
As a result of its bird-mammalian nature, the platypus is a source of three staple elements: milk, eggs, and laughter. This made it Jesus' favorite creature, as he loves to start the day with a healthy breakfast and a smile.
The platypus' special place in Jesus' heart earned it a VIP section on Noah's Ark. It was right up there with elephants and cats, and far away from steerage where the stowaway bears lurked. God didn't want it onboard, but Jesus demanded it.
Scientists who are critical of the Noah's Ark story believe that Jesus made the Platypus from bits of different animals to save room. Some even argue that Noah's Ark is just a made up story and that Jesus made the Platypus so it could swim and so survive the flood all on its own. These Godless liberals - only a fraction of whom have real jobs inventing advanced military weaponry for defending freedom - have made up their own story called "evolution" which says that all other animals came from the Platypus and this is why a Platypus looks like a bit of everything. True Bible believers, however, know that the Ark was big enough for all the animals (even the baby dinosaurs), that evolution doesn't happen, and that the God created the Platypus exactly in its current form around 4004 BC. Jesus loves the Platypus mainly because it shows that the Bible is true, and that evolution is a lie.
WMD (Weapon of Mass Delicious) Edit
The male platypus is also one of the world's only poisonous mammals, which explains the creatures deployment with anti-terror forces in "Australia-like" regions of Islamdom. If a platypus had been around when those crazy Iranian sailors had captured those Brits, it would have kicked their fundamentalist asses! Soldiers like weapons that swim, and everyone likes a pet that can lay breakfast!
- The platypus is a creation of Lewis Carol.
- Platypussies can fly.
- The platypus belong on the Threat Down.
- Platypussy are braided Bond girls.
- The plural of platypus is
platypuses platypiplatypussies regardless of what the Wordanistas say.
- Platypussies wag their finger at Charles Darwin.
- Platypussies are fighting a war against the bigger and stronger, though not smarter bears.
- The platypussies are winning the battle because of the size of their brains and balls right now, but they need your help. You can donate laser guns to help them in the fight for freedom.