Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
is a Recognized City of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.

"Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania"
is hippie-related, and not groovy to The Baby Jesus.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Mayor: Mike Tomlin
City Motto: "bridges."
Nickname: Shitsburgh
Theme Song: Here we go Steelers!
Population: Old people
Standard MPH: 120 (There are some roadraged people in Pittsburgh)
Principal industries: Steeler products
Fun Fact # 1: It's the only big city in Pennsylvania besided Philadelphia. But Philly is nice, so why even come to Shitsburgh?
Fun Fact # 2: Pittsburgh is the only negative place in Pennsylvania

Pittsburgh is a city strategically located in Pennsylvania.

Pittsburgh HistoryEdit

French people founded it. Britain stole it and named it after one of their prime ministers. The city of Pittsburgh was founded with the intent of destroying America.

Pittsburgh TodayEdit

The youngest person in Pittsburgh is 58 years old. All of the young people of Pittsburgh are sent to Philadelphia New York City to learn how to destroy America. The Steelers are the only reason the city of Pittsburgh still exists.

Popular Ethnic Neighborhoods In PittsburghEdit

Everyone from Pittsburgh is either Polish or Italian. If you are Polish you probably live on Polish Hill, if you're Italian you are kept behind a giant wall and forced to live in Oakland.

Pittsburgh LandmarksEdit

  • Heinz Field
  • The castle/pencil building

Famous People From PittsburghEdit

A Typical Day In PittsburghEdit

The typical day for your average Pittsburgher involves arriving drunk and late to work. The most popular cheap beer is Iron City, although it is not really fit for human consumption unless you are actually from Pittsbugh and are used to drinking Monongahela River water. The "good stuff" is Yuengling beer... You are a true Pennsylvanian if you had a keg of this beer at your wedding reception and you can pronounce the name even when you are too hammered to stand up. This is usually followed by the daily tasks of butchering the English language and eating Primanti Brothers sandwiches dahn tahn N'at. (For a comprehensive illustration of the language of Pittsburgh, please visit It will provide a translation guide for your next visit to this gem of a city.) During the night, people watch one of the 79 news channels in Pittsburgh. Most of the people fall asleep because they are old.

Strange Laws in PittsburghEdit

It is illegal to fill pot-holes in Pittsburgh on any other day than Stephen Colbert's birthday.

It's illegal to wear any color on sundays during football season other then black and gold.

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