Pirates (PIE-rat) are a race of mythological aquatic humanoids created by Liberals and Communists to support their hair-brained theories of global warming and evolution and to celebrate their hatred of Our Lord and Savior.
Pirates Have Their Own Special Day!Edit
Who Chooses To Become A Pirate And WhyEdit
Where One Can Find A PirateEdit
How To Spot A PirateEdit
Some recognizable traits of Pirates include:
- cybernetic augmented arms and legs
- eye patches
- pet birds
- jet packs
- excessive use of the word "poop-deck"
- Anyone who uses Limewire
- Somali pirates are known to smell of poop
- Black Beard, a famous fearsome pirate
- Captain Hook, a famous pedo-pirate
- Sean Fanning, a famous music pirate
- Robert Reed, a famous heiny pirate
- Ted Haggard, a famous reverend/butt pirate
- Captain Jack Swallow, the most famous butt pirate
What Pirates Do During Working HoursEdit
- Sail the Series of Tubes
- water sports
- baked goods
- book sales
- run away
- play cricket
- watch The Daily Show
- organized protests
- disorganized protests
- knot tying
- get defeated by Ninjas
- butt sex
- Drink Rum
What Pirates Do in Their Spare TimeEdit
- Vote Democrat
- Being awesome
- Being awesomer
- watch Project Runway
- comb each other's hair
- enhance their eye patches and scabbards with glitter and beads (pre-Bedazzler™)
- eat beef jerky
- watch an inconvenient truth with Al Gore
- download music
- provide a front for the CIA
- destroy the lives of hard working
- raid and destroy the profits of hard working corporations.
- steal books from the tubes.
Famous Series of Tubes PiratesEdit
The Internet Pirates are coming
- Fred-Merle "Polka Dot": Famously plundered the city Warren by selling illegal DVDs... of Polka Music... what?... really?!
See Also Edit
- Swedish Pirates Captured
- Pirates seize Swedish government!!
- Russia is selling "Letters of Marque" to
rich bastardsEntrepreneurial Russians to hunt pirates! And they said they would never learn the benefits of Capitalism...
- Pirates Invade Canada!
- Pirates Steal Series of Tubes
- Gay Pirate Holiday comes again this year
- Butt pirates invades Germany
- Pirates continue to plunder helpless music industry
- Pirates Vs
- Homeland Security seizes Internet Pirates
- Hard Working Hollywood producers and studios tired of being robbed by Pirates
- How Series of Tube Pirates are harming National Security
- How pirates are hurting the economy
- Corporations prepares long fight against Internet Pirates
- How Internet Pirates are hurting our economy
- Internet Pirates invades the British Island
- MPAA to Shut Down Google for Stealing their Internet Money!
- activist judge protects pirates
- Internet pirates refuses to hand over his gold and his unicorn
- another life ruined by Internet Pirates
- Pirates want to steal our children
- Pirates continue to haunt Hollywood
- Internet Pirates now reading our secret documents, profits at risk!
- Zombie Pirates continue their copyright plunder
- Zombie pirates return!
- How civil liberties are hampering our profits
- Commies trying to steal our internet
- Smart pirate hackers tricks authorities
- Corporations to finally kill the internet!