Pimp My Air Force!

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During the July 22, 2008 episode of The Greatest News Program Ever, America's newsman, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert revealed that the Air Force was utilizing anti-terrorism funds to improve conditions in transit for certain members of the brass.

While, no God-fearing, America-loving patriot would ever dare to question such a simple and necessary improvement, certain liberals have whined for an accounting of the entire project like they do. has stepped up to prove that all monies allocated for anti-terrorism programs have been used for exactly that purpose by providing a list of all supplies and additions to the Air Force's "Senior Leader Intransit Comfort Capsules" program.[1]

Each capsule fits inside the regular troop transport aircraft and will allow top Air Force brass to sit separately from the smelly rabble in comfort while visiting foreign nations or with foreign leaders.

All members of The Colbert Nation are asked to review the list below and add any missing details.

How The Anti-terrorism Budget Is Being AllocatedEdit

  • plush, swiveling leather chairs with footrests[2]
    • also with spinning rims
  • beds, a couch, a table and a 37-inch flat-screen monitor with stereo speakers[3]
  • mirrored ceilings
  • wet bar
  • a PS3 at every desk
  • shag carpeting
  • crease massaging chairs (being the crease in between each buttocks muscle)
  • Tissues made from $100 bills
  • a nightly reenactment of "Guys and Gals" atop a B-52 Stealth Bomber

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