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Picanic Basket

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GodsPicnicBasket

God's Own Picanic Basket,
too big for the average bear


A Picanic Basket is a container used by Americans to hold their food while enjoying the great outdoors, which they own. From the Latin, "pic" carrier and "anic" of food.

Usually made of thin strips of some kind of flimsy wood woven together, picanic baskets are a way for women to carry frilly things on camping trips.

Things Women Put in Picanic BasketsEdit

Picnic basket

What Americans use when going on a picanic



Things Real American Men Put in Picanic BasketsEdit

Picanic Baskets in Popular CultureEdit

BearSittingPicnicTable

Caption

As seen on Yogi Bear's TV show, Yogi Bear. Found at his sidekick Boo-Boo. Frequently stolen while Yogi and/or Boo-Boo are on their tip-toes, with appropriate high pitch piano key jingling soundtrack accompanying their larcenous act. Yogi Bear's behaviour is also proof that Bears are after all picanic baskets and will do anything to steal all the food to feed their terrorist sleeper cells waiting to attack America.

Liberals Hatred of Picanics, Picanic BasketsEdit

Liberal picanic basket

A Liberal Picanic Basket

Bear picanic attack

A bear attacking a liberal picanic wheelbarrow

Liberals believe bears belong in the forest and humans need to stay away from them. WRONG! Americans own everything, and that includes the Great Outdoors. Bears need to stay away from us no matter where we go, or how much food we leave laying around.

Liberals claim if humans keep using picanic baskets, bears might associate humans with food. Well, la-dee-da, Albert Einstein! So, they call their bear friends and pay them to attack their wheelbarrows trying to prove the bears can't get into picanic baskets, blah, blah, blah. Who cares? A bear won't get into a picanic basket when ya have one of these babies AntiBearDevice with ya!

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