Petition:Make Dr. Stephen Colbert America's Surgeon General

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After taking Dick Cheney's office from him, President Hussein Obama mistakenly announced Sanjay Gupta to be his Surgeon General designee. Obviously, he got CNN's TV doctor confused with Comedy Central's (much more handsome and telegenic) TV doctor, Maestro Doctor Professor Field Marshall The Reverend Stephen Colbert, Esquire (and he has more titles than Gupta has, too)


Sanjaya Gupta was eliminated from the Surgeon General tournament.


a CIA experiment gone wrong shows that America is vulnerable to terrorists. Heroes everywhere are calling on Obama to name a Surgeon General before everyone is turned into a pig!

Should President Hussein Obama make Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. America's Surgeon General?

The poll was created at 22:31 on March 21, 2009, and so far 205 people voted.

Due to a minor glitch in the software,
you will have to click the "Vote" button twice after making your selection.

Sign your name to this petition!

Obama, America needs only 1 Doctor Edit

Dear Imam Obama;

Please select Dr. Colbert to be America's doctor instead of another one of your fellow mooslims.

Thank you,


Jesus Christ

Dear President ObamaEdit

Dear President Obama;

Please select Dr. Colbert to be America's doctor.

In all truthiness, he is the best political satirist for the job.

Signed, A Patriotic American

America Needs Dr. Colbert Edit

Dear PE Obama;

Please make Dr. Colbert America's Doctor. Technically he already is, but it would be nice if he had a uniform to go along with it.

Signed, a patriotic American!

To the negro muslim in office Edit

March 20, 2009

Dear Imam Barack Muhammad Hussein "Suicide Bomb" Obama II:

Please select Dr. Colbert to be America's Surgeon General instead of any so called "tolerant" Muslim.
Dr. Colbert is an excellent physician and has extensive medical knowledge while your average Muslim's
only medical talents are in the creation of cadavers.

Please consider America's true values when thinking about the new Surgeon General. Remember if it's
Muslim it's not American! Dr. Colbert is all American and not Muslim at all baby!!!

Phil "C1456" Uranus

Choose Dr. Colbert Edit

Dear "President" Imam Barack Muhammad Hussein "Suicide Bomb" Obama II,
you must choose Maestro Doctor Professor Field Marshall The Reverend Stephen Colbert, Esquire to be your Surgeon General. He will not fail you and he isn't a terrorist, hippie, commie, or any of that bad stuff. Trust me, I am always right. ALWAYS!
Prof. McDoc

PS Always Right!!

Pete Fernandez

Dear Barizzy Obizzy Edit

Forizzy, Dawg,

You be straight trippin' if I don't get a what-what and huh-huh for my man, yo, Tek-J Colbert. He be one off da hook Surgeon Gen'ral, fo' sho!

Sincerely, Yo' Homey G

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