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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
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Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
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is a part of the Kingdom of Heaven!
And GOD Loves You!
is a Truthiness Crusader!
U R Here
is a Recognized State of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.

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Capitol: Philadelphia. Some might say Harrisburg, but Philadelphia is way better.
State Flower: Cosmos
Official Languages: English
State Bird: The Cheesesteak
State Motto: The Best State is the First (Yes, PA is the first state, go f**k yourself Delaware!!)
Nickname: Best people alive
Governor: Tom Corbett
State Anthem: Here We Go shooters
Population: Awesome
Standard MPH: 35
Principal imports: None anything one could need is in Pennsylvania.
Principal exports: The Amish
Principal industries: Wawa
Fun Fact # 1: Final word of the 1939 Spelling Bee

Best state in the union ... even though it is really a commonwealth. Without it, the colonies would have fallen apart. However it suffers from having the Pittsburgh Steelers, a team that sucks for losing against Green Bay.

Pennsylvania is the first state in the United States, even though people say Delaware is.

One of Pennsylvania's "finest" cities is Philadelphia, colloquially know as "Philly". They make a mean cheesesteak that will turn your life upside down and rock your world. Cheesesteaks, when not being used to end world-hunger, can be used to ward off bears and liberals. Pennsylvania also is famous for Penn State, which is famous for it's invention of the primitive game of football.

Also, if you are driving in Philly you will need a car that has:
a.. A horn
b.. A gun
But it doesn't have to have:
c.. wheels
d.. driver's license.

Famous People from PhillyEdit

  • Will Smith
  • The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
  • Punxsutawny Phil
  • That guy from the movie Philadelphia. You know, Mr. Philadelphia

Is There Anything Outside Philly?Edit

Yes, theres a lot of stuff in Pennsylvania besides Philly. Just dont waste your money on going to Pittsburgh, because the Steelers suck.



Pennsylvania Duth

The Commonwealth was originally divided into 3 states. The Independent state of Philadelphia was originally settled by non-violent peacenik Quakers. Gradually the population of Philadelphia degenerated into raving lunacy due to the constant irritation of having to live in a city of 2 million non-violent peacenik Quakers. The middle part of the state was settled by Germans. The "Pennsylvania Dutch", as they are called, continue to service America's sweet-tooth with milk Chocolate and walk around in lederhosen (Don't believe it? Go look!). Western Pennsylvania is populated by Austrians and Irish Catholics. No one is sure how they got there. When American pioneers reached Fort Pitt the Austrians and Irish were already there, milling steel. In 1936, the 3 areas signed a treaty merging them into 1 State, named Pennsylvania.

Achieving StatehoodEdit

  • George Washington needed backup to kill the British, so Pennsylvanians helped him. Then, George made the state the 1st state.

Pennsylvania TodayEdit

Pennsylvania is the best state, unless you count the Steelers, which suck. Pennsylvania has a great city called Philadelphia, which is one of the best cities. Pennsylvania is believed to be the opposite of Kansas, due to its non Ecuadorian bands, its lack of boredom, and its lack of gays. While Kansas is a gay Ecuadorian communist state, Pennsylvania is a straight American free state.

Usa color

Pennsylvania is the best state. If you don't think so, look at your map again!

Pennsylvania LandmarksEdit

  • The Broken Bell of Liberty
  • Sheetz
  • Tom Mix's Birthplace (complete with open well and outhouse with directions for using (picture coming soon))
  • The "Mason" part of the Mason-Dixon Line
  • Breezewood, Pennsylvania

Famous PennsylvaniansEdit

A Typical Day in PennsylvaniaEdit

Getting whatever you want.

Sheetz or WawaEdit

Wawa! Why? Because nobody has ever heard of Sheetz, and because Philidelphia, the best city in Pennsylvania, only has Wawa, and one can make good sandwiches there. Wawa wins!

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