Penn Jillett is a fat half wit, who was a guest on "The Colbert Report". Some people claim that Penn is really just Al Franken without his suit of staunch liberalism, and that he can morph back into Franken at any time! In truthiness, however, Mr. Penn is a proud Libertarian who proves the old maxim:
Butch on the streets, femme in the sheets.
But Mr. Penn is not a pure, holy hater after the ways of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In fact, Mr. Penn does not believe in Our Lord and Savior, and has even gone so far as to claim that there is no God!! Mr. Jillette also hates the children, which he has proven in a number of ways:
- Wants to break the heart of little children.
- Wants to punch a puppy.
- Claims there is no Santa Claus and that the Tooth Fairy is a sham.
It is easy to see that Mr. Penn does not think of the children, and is clearly headed straight for the eternal, burning fires of hell. He will, no doubt, have no trouble finding employment there, as Satan will surely put him to work as the new voice of Hell's Fall Season.
How Hip Is He Exactly?Edit
Mr. Jillette's Other SkillsEdit
- giving away state secrets
- voice-over artist perfection
- thunder stealer
- understanding television as if he invented it!
What Mr. Jillette Wants To Keep Out Of The Hands of The GovernmentEdit
- His "partner" (cough), Teller, who helps out on the radio show
- ↑ No relation to Sean Penn, although the name similarity should raise some red flags, especially where metaphor abuse is concerned.
- ↑ I can't imagine any greater torture than having to listen to Penn Jillette's voice for all eternity. Can you?
- ↑ see note above, re: hell
- ↑ Poor Teller. He would be so much funnier without Penn. Even if he never talked.