Pens are two-faced devices that can either produce eloquent truthiness or filthy liberal scum. They come in different colors, but the only true american colors are red and blue. Black pens are for use by Our Glorius Stephen only. The improper use of pens (such as writing liberal laws and books,) can cause a sapping of truthiness from the writer. Although black pens are black, they do not qualify to be Stephen's Black Friend.