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Pearls are just Nature's way of saying torture does work — not that anyone has tried it, but it does.

Just saying.

How Pearls Are MadeEdit

When Our Father wanted to give the economy of Biblical times a boost, He would inseminate a clam with a grain of sand. This grain of sand would cause the clam great irritation and distress. The clam was never in any real danger, however, nor did it suffer any organ failure, so no one can call it torture (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Once certain important bits of information were extracted from the clam, Our Lord would allow the precious gem to be extricated from the clam as a stimulus to the economy.

Pearls can be worn in strings around the neck or around the wrist. Some say that black pearls exist, but cannot verify this due to race blindness.

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