Paul Rieckhoff

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Paul Rieckhoff
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process


Nailed so hard, his hair got scared and ran away.

Paul Rieckhoff was Stephen's guest on the May 3, 2006 edition of The Colbert Report. They sat down together to answer important questions, including why the subtitle of Reickhoff's book is so long.

Reickhoff is an Iraq war veteran who claims to know more than our Commander-in-Chief about how to fight the war over there even though he only spent a year in-country. Even though he is a troop, he is against himself. Just because he has been to Iraq and Stephen has not, he should not think his opinions are more valid than Dr. Colbert's. Fortunately, as Rieckhoff is still an active National Guardsman, The Greatest President Ever can recall him to duty at any time. Perhaps he can even start his book tour in Fallujah.

Rieckhoff claims that at some point in the past President Bush claimed our "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq. But as Stephen pointed out, that's what the banner said, not the President.

Later he had the audacity to claim that stories about Brangelina and Michael Jackson are crap and not as important as stories about returning veterans. How dare he attack our entertainers?

May 5, 2009 NailingEdit

  • we can forget about WWI, sorry Doughboys!
  • working to make sure returning veterans will get the assistance they need
    • employment
    • medical care
    • education
  • we need the vest to betrayed like Rambo
  • If Reickhoff wears a wig ... !
  • believes Obama is off to a good start
    • funding
    • GI Bill
    • record keeping system
    • eliminated private health companies
  • what are the challenges
    • education
    • employment
    • healthcare
  • will make Dr. Colbert an honorary member
  • gave Stephen a special piece of gear that resembles his Target nipple birthmarks

July 13, 2009 NailingEdit

  • Stephen filed 130,000 Vet benefit claims for each hair lost
  • what can vets expect services and support from the U.S. government
  • take advantage of the new GI Bill
  • keep veterans in the news
    • wear uniforms like Michael Jackson's


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