Pat Sajak (Sometimes pronounced as Pat-say-jak-off by British conservatives) is a widely known Republican who hosts a show where contestants attempt to spell words that Stephen Colbert's pets could guess in their sleep. I speak of course of "WHEEL...OF...FORTUNE!" or, as it's also known, "FAT...PEOPLE...GUESSING!"
In an ironic twist, according to the Federal Misinformation Bureau of Intelligence (FMBI), Pat Sajak cannot spell.
Pat Sajak was born on February 31, 1952. Because his birthday doesn't technically exist, Pat Sajak has no age. As a young child, he struggled with English, and eventually gave up on the subject.