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Pat O'Brien

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PatOBrien

Comeon,let'sgo,theguy'swaitingandIdon'twanttopisshimoff,he'smybestconnection.Gotanygum?Ican'tstopgrindingmyteeth!Talkingtoofast?Oh man, I'm so geeked out right now, hey what about that gum?



Pat O'Brien is one of America's premiere superstuds, who can be seen every day on the syndicated infotainment program The Insider. Pat serves the American public by providing an outlet for people to think about other exciting things rather than keep attention focused on the the freedom opportunities in Iraq and all the new heros coming back covered in flag draped coffins. Pat's actions are predicated on the belief that "absence makes the heart grow fonder," so the less we see or think about events happening over seas, the more we'll actually care.


Pat has expressed his interest in the past of getting a hooker and some coke, and to "beat off" in a woman's face. Although never confirmed or publicly recorded, an offer of mustache-rides could very well have been a likely and appropriate addendum.


Robert Wexler and Pat were college roommates at Duke University and were both on the lacrosse team. It's not clear which person was the greater influence on the other, but since Wexler is a Democrat, such musings are moot at this point. Back in the day, when boys could be boys, Pat "The Rat" O'Brien and Robert "Stinkfinger" Wexler would get all yayed out on a coupla' 8-balls, order up some strippers/hookers and have themselves a rape party. It's believed that Wexler and O'Brien originated this hallowed tradition, only to have their legacy shut down in 2006 by the liberal elitists, who started to take control of most the Colleges across the nation during the late 60's.

Farley-Swayze

You ass, not those kinds of strippers.

Coke&Bill

That's how Pat rolls.

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