12,423pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk0
is hippie-related, and not groovy to The Baby Jesus.

A Pacifist is a pinko, hippie, communist "man", who like believes war is bad, man. It isn't. Pacifists don't understand the only way to truly liberate people is to invade their country and start a civil war. They were too busy smoking grass and popping ecstasy pills to learn this universal truthiness. Pacifists are not capable of constructive behavior. They are, however, capable of whining like no other group of people on earth (or to be more appropriate, America, because the rest of the world doesn't matter.)


  • Pacifists are responsible for America losing the Vietnam War.
  • If Pacifists had their way, you would speak German.
  • Pacifists think the atomic bombing of Japan was a bad thing!
  • Pacifists want to raise your taxes.
  • Pacifists killed the dinosaurs, assassinated President Kennedy and Co., forced NASA to fake the moon landing, formed the House of Male Organic Stuff (AKA HOMOS), and killed Baby Jesus, and yet still had enough time to escape to France.
  • Pacifists are cannibals and want to eat your children.
  • It is YOUR job as an American to kill pacifists and filter all of the crap and Kool-Aid out of their blood so it may used to help America bomb the French

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki