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The Garbage Patch02:42

The Garbage Patch

Short video starring the Patch with Matt Lauer.

The largest and greatest man-made flotation device ever! The Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch (POGaPa) is purported to be twice the size of Texas and trapped by swirling ocean currents between California and Hawaii. It is one of five gyres in America's Planet's oceans.

God is trying to tell us something. And that something might be that the liberal media lies.


  • The Hawaiian Superferry

Nevertheless, no matter its real size, the Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch battles the Hawaiian Superferry in a continuing wrestling match of biblical proportions!


Here is the patch saving Japan from Godzilla

  • Debris Island

After God sent an earthquake and tsunami to the heathens of Japanistan to try and convert them to The One True Religion, an island of debris the size of Godzilla (and whose tentacles are undoubtedly nucular) is now on its way to America.

And only POGaPa can stop it!

But, only if it's headed toward Alaska (if it's going to beach itself on California then God would be fine with that)

  • Atlantic Ocean

Nature provides yet another example of Penis Envy when the Atlantic Ocean starts collecting plastic trash to compete!

What's Contained In The Island of Irradiated MisfitsEdit

  • geishas
  • lolis
  • millions of Hello Kitty vibrators

Profits Are Afloat!Edit

The Free Market chimes in and offers a cruise to visit The Patch!

External TubesEdit

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