Oprah's Housewife Army

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Baby Jesus
The Baby Jesus and The Baby Satan
are fighting over the very soul of
Oprah's Housewife Army
Oprah is the most powerful woman in the world. She is an empire unto herself and needs to protect her colonies.

And this is why she assembled her army: Oprah's Housewife Army (the "Oprah-HA")

"Oprah-HA" CampaignsEdit

Elect Obama '08Edit

Ritualized Redistribution of ResourcesEdit

  • Oprah jumps up and down, shouts
    • gives away cars, money
  • Oprah-HA jumps up and down, shouts
    • gives away tears, hugs

No matter how much jumping up and down and shouting America's men do, because of Oprah and the Oprah-HA, there are fewer and fewer women who recognize their God-ordained requirement to give away dinners, sex.

Push The Publishers' PulpEdit

History of the Oprah-HAEdit

"You Go, Girl": Where It All BeganEdit

Tears, Ham, and BeyondEdit

Known Housewife Members Edit

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