Al Franken
Open-source has earned

Open-Source is a way for communists to distribute information. By not letting anyone pay for it, it allows those pinkos access to honest Americans products without supporting the economy.

Software Edit

There are several differents examples of "Open-source" software, but since its all crap, there is no need to go into it too much. Just remember:

  • Buy American, use Vista, not Linux.
  • Buy American, use DirectX, not OpenGL.
  • Buy American, use Explorer, not FireFox.
  • Buy American, use Outlook, not Thunderbird.
  • Buy American, use MS Office Word, not OpenOffice Writer.
  • Buy American, use MS Office Exel, not OpenOffice Calc.
  • Buy American, use MS Office PowerPoint, not OpenOffice Impress.
  • Buy American, use SQL Server, not MySQL.
  • Buy American, use IIS, not Apache.
  • Buy American, use .NET, not PPP (Perl, PHP, Python).

Cola Edit


I thought Canadians only drank beer...

There is a "Open-Source" cola that was designed by Canadians. The formula is made up of bear urine, maple syrup, and left over poutine residue. However, this forms a soft-drink that is inferior to Stephen Colbert's favorite, Dr. Pepper.

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