A cross between leprechauns and pygmies, Oompa Loompas are a rare breed of little person who are enslaved employed exclusively in Stephen's Formula 401K factory.


  • Washing used beakers
  • Singing and dancing for VIP visitors


  • Contrary to popular belief Oompa Loompas are not illegal immigrants.
  • Mitt Romney desperately wants to get his hands on some Oompa Loompas to replace his perfectly legal immigrant gardeners.
  • Claims that Dennis Kucinich is actually an Oompa Loompa with bleached skin are totally false. Probably. Maybe.

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