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Oil is our big black friend. It is a noble substance made from 5000 year-dead dinosaurs that makes everyone's Hummer go. There is a never ending supply of it so enjoy as much of it as you like, most of which is located in Alaska
Oil is also better than blood. Blood does not burn as well. Which is why it is perfectly logical to exchange blood for oil.
Oil also causes immense pressures to build up underground which can only be relieved by oil industry drilling. If not for this drilling, the Earth might unexpectedly explode. Oil companies are saving the planet every day, unlike tree-hugging solar power proponents who merely talk about saving the planet.
Recently, the gayest form of lettuce, Arugula was discovered to be vulnerable to oil. As the destructive capacity of gay is unquestioned, this can only be even more good news with regards to our best black friend since Samuel L. Jackson.
- Chevron unveils new secret way to make more profit!
- Map of the world's oil!
- Oil now the most expensive commodity ever!
- Rand Paul: Only Real Americans love oil
- Oil to have and eat cake
- Real American convinces Nation to take Oil from brown people: we earn it!
- Big Oil to Protest Communist Administration We are poor!
- Hippies discover new source of fuel!
- How Obama is making our oil expensive
- Evil Science to kill oil!!!