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Occupy Wall Street (socialist filthy hippies)
OWS was a filthy organization started sometimes in the 70s to spread the filthy socialist lifestyle. It was disbanded by Richard Nixon when the police found their stash of marijuana. The movement has recently re-emerged in 2011 in their attempt to overthrow capitalism.
Fox News has uncovered evidence that the reason these filthy hippies have returned, is that their hearts are filled with jealousy, after all they are hippies and they have no money. And they want to steal all of our money, to pay off for their drum circle classes. Others Patriots believe that they are just being lazy and they just dont want to work, so instead they are protesting because they have nothing better to do. Perhaps they are expecting, that they want free handouts from the liberals.
OWS is also allied with the terrorist group known as anonymous. Our only hope is that the OWS movement will die out once they run out of munchies and their special brownies. When that happens, Wall Street will go back to work by not working, they can just make money to magically appear. Damn these ungrateful hippies. They made me miss my football game, because of their protests.
The 1%, the Real AmericansEdit
Who is a 1%Edit
- The Rich, Christian, Conservatives.(RCC)
Who is Not a 1%Edit
Gallery of the 1%Edit
The 99%, or The Filthy Socialist HippiesEdit
You are a 99% if:Edit
- You have a job that doesn't involve running a big company.
- You are not part of the derivatives market.
- You are paid with a paycheck.
- You have unpaid school loans.
- You work more than one job.
- You actually work at your job.
- You don't have more than two Mexican ladies as your maids. And I mean the illegal ones, not the ones that can speak English good.
- You are serving in the military to feed your family.
- You are actually serving in the military willingly.
- You actually know what a food-stamp is.
- You cant take the day off, sip some champagne in the balcony, and watch over the unwashed masses and their silly occupation.
- You're not like this guy
While it is true that OWS is protected under some silly rule about freedom of speech, these filthy hippies are infringing our own freedom of speech, the freedom of corporations to use corporate money to make more money, and that's just not right. To stop these commies, Wall Street has called some favors to arrest these lazy hippies to force them to get a job. Once Wall Street reclaims their streets back, we can go back to the business of stealing from the unwashed masses, after all, they clearly have demonstrated that they dont know how to use their own money.
The liberal media has lambasted our brave men and women in blue, criticizing their excessive use of force. The media doesn't seem to understand that this unruly mob of peasants are a threat to America's safety. Silly media, when will you ever learn? Apparently OWS has their own army of un-american hippies, and they have promised to kill us all if we don't give in to their demands. Some of these commie hippies could kill you in their sleep. Trust us, the police knows what they are doing. The chief of police has assured us that they are not using excessive force, instead they are using the correct force, and just to be safe they will use photoshopping technology to give the appearance that their brutality is not that bad at all, so it is safe to be broadcasted on the air where millions will be mesmerized by the absence of human rights violations. All perfectly legal, of course. The police is also making sure that our streets are clean by pepper spraying on the unruly crowd, soap is too good for them.
The war against these anarcho-hippies is proving to be difficult as the police keeps arresting and beating the commie vermin. For every un-american traitors, socialist grannies, and pregnant commies they beat and arrest, five more take their place. Even with Wall Street's help to mow down the crowd and Homeland Security's illegal activity to infiltrate this group, they are still growing. We still do not understand why their numbers keep growing, it is a mystery.
Some godless commie hippies are even helping these socialist thieves. They are given food, shelter, and protection. It is clear the movement has numerous sleeper cells around the country. Clearly, this demonstrates a failure on the part of the Obama administration and he must resign immediately. Otherwise, the Real Socialists could take over the government. If this were to ever happen, how are we ever going to protect America against her enemies?
Gallery of Police un-brutalityEdit
It has come to our attention that the hippies are trying to infiltrate the police force. They are pretending to be law abiding officers, but instead they are sleeper agents waiting to take over. Terrifying stuff.
The Counter OWS: Occupy Main StreetEdit
Wall Street, tired of waiting for the donut-eating pigs from doing their work correctly, decided that they should use the power of the free market to correct this abomination. No matter the cost, the 1% must fight to stop this rabble, and when I say fight I mean they will hire someone else to clean this up.
First, Wall Street tried to provide these lazy hippies with good paying jubs, but the unwashed massed refused. Clearly, their protest that they cannot get jubs is a lie, they just dont want to work. Their excuse is that since they have so much college debt, they want jubs with bigger salaries so they can pay it off. Silly commies, that is the purpose of debt, the more debt you have the richer the market gets and the more money America can produce. Clearly OWS does not understand the basics of economics.
Wall Street is frustrated that these hippies are refusing to understand the suffering of the rich, a suffering and a pain that surpasses no other known to mankind. I thought hippies believed in compassion and stuff. This demonstrates that OWS is refusing to partake on the shared sacrifice to restore America's financial economy. The rich has done enough, we cannot ask more from them.
Since the lazy hippies are clearly unqualified to have jubs of their own, Wall Street had devised a plan to take over and steal their jubs from the socialist commies. Doing their menial labor would be so easy, that anyone can do it. It's so easy, that instead of a banker doing their boring job, they will be asking the help to do it for them. After all, Wall Street doesn't like to dirty their own hands, that just silly. We have Mexicans for that type of work. Profiteers didn't raided pension funds and savings accounts just so they could clean desks, flip burgers, or teach a bunch of brats. Anyone can do those chores. It just doesn't mean that the rich should do it to prove a point, they should instead just hire someone else to do it for them to make their point for them.
Once Wall Street restores the power of capitalism, we can go back to the business of making America great again. But first, we must make sure that these filthy commies suffer for wasting our time and money.
Also See Related TubesEdit
- Filthy hippies getting a pepper spray shower
- Liberal media arrested for siding with filthy commies
- Liberal braniacs arrested for using their liberal powers to stop Wall Street
- 10 easy steps on how to dismantle OWS and get away with human rights violations.
- Wall Street already working to infiltrate the homeless
- Occupy Wall Street, finally over!