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Norway is a country with a lot of natural resources. Unfortunately they are a democracy, so there are no grounds
yet for an American invasion. Therefore, a detailed invasion plan has already been developed by the European Union
Norway was created by Harald Haarfagre in the Middle Ages. He was convinced that oil, or "most unhealthy beverage" as he dubbed it, would one day fuel an entire global economy. Today Norway is according to the UN the best and proportionally most sexually arousing country in the world to live in.
|Dear God… can you image America’s prisons turned into Norway’s style?… horrible…|
The Norwegian government is owned and clothed by the Saami, a polar crime syndicate that has ruled most of Scandinavia since the Black Plague. On the annual National Day of the Saami, February 6, the Government has to perform occult rituals involving reindeer and some branches of the royal family.
The Norwegian Sea is one of the few natural oil reserves not part of the Middle East, despite many Norwegian applications for it to be moved there. It is believed that Norway's oil resources is one reason why President Bush is frequently observed licking Norway on maps while rubbing his hands ferociously.
Despite the importance of oil, Norway's primary export is actually the "ø". The "ø" was developed by Norwegian scientists in the early 1800s only to be used in emergencies. After the Cold War however, the "ø" was finally released and available for worldwide sale. An "ø" on eBay is likely to cost an estimated $ 12.99 (transportation not included), while a custom made "ø" like the ones used by Stephen Colbert in the Wørd and several Colbertwood facilities cost anywhere from $ 100,000 up to $ 5,000,000. Approximately 68 percent of Norway's GNP stems from this export.
Geography and climateEdit
The entire Norwegian landscape is covered in ice and snow. Most of the fjords are clogged with giant glaciers, while Norway's second largest city, Stockholm, consists of a whopping 71 percent frozen tundra. Throughout the year only seventeen hours of sunlight in total reaches as far north as Norway. This is a cause of great depression among Norwegians, who resolve such adversity by a fervent commitment to suicide.
In the year of 1346 Norway invaded Sweden, but the Swedes were too busy fighting russia and Poland to care. However, when they had some spare time, they invaded Norway in 1814. This war came to be known as the Norwedgian Polor Bear war. It will be the base for Call of Duty 9: Bears of Fury
- America sent its very first black ambassador to Norway. He was worshiped by the Norwegians for many years, being the only black man ever to set foot there.
- Norway is famous for inventing Iceland, a barren wasteland stretched across a big rock in the Atlantic, infested with drunken Irish clergy and several midget horses. Iceland later discovered America, a feat Norwegians to this day rightly take credit for.
- The musical trio A-HA is from Norway. Their 1980s smash hit "Take On Me" became the national anthem in 1993.
- Bill Clinton visited Norway in 1999. Despite popular belief, he has never left. It is estimated that during the course of the next decade, 13 percent of all Norwegian women will have had sexual relations with Bill Clinton. 4 percent of them will also have had sex with Hillary Clinton.
- The Norwegian city of Lillehammer, is unique in being the only city to have held the Winter Olympics every year between 1994-2003.
- Lillehammer is also the only Olympic city to temporarily become it's nations capitol in honour of the '94 Winter Olympics.
- The status as capitol should have returned to Bergen after the 25 days that the games took place but due to the King being tied up at a party it was decided to postpone the move back until after said party. Bergen once again became capitol on December 23, 2003.
- From 1997-1999, there was a civil war in Norway between the Saami and the Swedish IKEA Corporation. The Saami agreed during the famed 1999 cease fire that one IKEA warehouse had to be built per every three Norwegians. So far, 670 have been built, including the Royal Palace in the outskirts of the Oslo village community.