Nobel Prize

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Nobel Prize
is science-related, sending it straight to hell.
Nobel Prize
gives aid and comfort to America's enemies. As A True American™,
it is your duty to report Nobel Prize to the authorities.

The Nobel Prize is an annual popularity contest in which science nerds and liberal peacemongers congratulate themselves for being part of the in-crowd.



Mr. Nobel in an early advertisement for his invention, DYN-O-MITE!

The Nobel Prizes were created by Jimmy "J.J." Nobel, the inventor of DYN-O-MITE! Feeling remorseful for how people abused his product, Mr. Nobel decided to use the considerable fortune he made from the sale of DYN-O-MITE! (the first one's free) to somehow combat the abuses.


Each year the Nobel Prize Committee gives out medals and cash to such deserving luminaries such as, Justin Kruger and David Dunning, whose research on incompetance and the possible correlation to an inflated sense of competance rendered the men broke. But with the cash they received, the two men have been able to stay off the streets and out of America's laboratories.

Nobel Prize for LiteratureEdit

The Nobel Prize for the category of Literature is based upon the book's weight. The heavier and more boring the tome, the more likely it will win. Want proof? Neither the Bible nor I Am America (And So Can You!) have even been nominated,

Nobel Prize for MedicineEdit

The Nobel Prize for this category is based on how much money the pharmaceutical companies can make without actually curing anyone. Preferably this requires the "cure" to have so many side-effects that additional medication is required to manage daily functions.

Helping terrorists winEdit


Thanks to photo-shop,
Stephen Colbert has won the Nobel Prize!

Both Barack Hussein Obama and Yasser Arafat have won the Nobel Prize, and Stephen Colbert has not. It therefore stands to truthiness that winning a Nobel Prize is proof that the winner is a terrorist, and should be locked away forever (or at least until Stephen wins one, thus redeeming the prize).

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