Nobel Peace Prize

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Nobel Peace Prize
is an insidious part of the
Fancy-pantsification of America!

The Nobel Peace Prize is a piece of gold-plated tin that a bunch of Norwegian hippies give to the given year's biggest pussies.

In the most blatant example of politically correct White Man's Guilt, Alfred Nobel insisted that the cash he made with his invention, dynamite, be used to award the person who is the biggest pain in the ass to the leader of his own government. To his credit, however, he said it in pure Gerald Ford-style:

in his will, which was only revealed after he was dead and buried.

The Nobel committee proved their complete obsolescence on October 10, 2009, when they awarded Barack Hussein Obama without giving Stephen Colbert so much as a nod. So what! They're stupid, and Stephen doesn't need them, anyway!

Recent RecipientsEdit

  • After being forced to accept the wisdom of their overseers, an American congress declares that landmines are "safe for children and other living things". The Nobel Committee defiantly gave their 1997 prize to Jody Williams for her efforts to endanger American service personnel against the wishes of the U.S. Military
  • In an election that was in no way similar to America's 2000 presidential election, Myanmar votes to retain the name they had used all along and to not elect the leader of the National League for Democracy party, Aung San Suu Kyi, who then promptly locked herself in her room. The Nobel Committee, ever the suckers for attention whores, awarded Aung their Peace Prize in 1991
  • To further strengthen their "America-hater" cred, the Nobel Publishers Clearing House gave an award to the highest ranking member of the America-Haters League, Supreme Rabbit Jimmy Carter,[1]in 2002 in an effort to make The Greatest President Ever look bad.
  • Al Gore, a 2000 Democratic Presidential candidate who lost to The Greatest President Ever, recently won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize after he blackmailed the women on the Nobel Committee and slept with all of the men on it.


Nobel Peace Prize
gives aid and comfort to America's enemies. As A True American™,
it is your duty to report Nobel Peace Prize to the authorities.

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