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HAND SQUEEZING MONEY
If you don't already have a
Nintendo
your parents never loved you!
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"Nintendo"
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Nintendo Edit

"Super Mario: Grand Theft Auto" Nintendo's attempt to corrupt the minds of our children

Nintendo was quite possibly the best invention for children. From it's first conception, Nintendo's full digital quality picture and sound quality were unsurpassed. With hundreds of games to choose from, and countless hours of parental "Free-Time", parents boosted the economy back from the infamous Atari Recession. This ultimately reclaimed the gaming world, thus making it the electronic superpower that it is today.

Conspiracy Theory Edit

Some say that the Nintendo's original outcome was already determined by our country's present leader George W. Bush. It is believed that The Great One himself had envisioned this device to drastically improve hand-eye coordination making our children into unknowing, war machines. With hand eye coordination being the ONLY aspect these children improved in their free time, long distance assaults as well as hand to hand combat is no challenge for them. It is said fat labs where used to drain young adults and re-sculpt muscular tissue to match their above human coordinative qualities. These super soldiers are said to have been keeping the bear population under control, as these giant man-eating, America hating, gorilla bearorists attempted to bring down the Nintendo Revolution.



Thwarted Edit

This conspiracy however has been tossed out due to lack of information from the Intelligence Oversight Board on the specific issue. We have requested, of course, that Nintendo dismantle all of their production facilities. We have also requested to inspect these locations, but have yet to receive a response.

Besides, President Bush has no room in his God-loving, patriotic schedule to bother with such non-sence as Nintendo... He has Playstation 3 to worry about.



All above excerpts and entries are accredited to the following:

-Tayler Phillips

Nintendo Historian/Pinball Wizard


Nintendo's Terrible GamesEdit

Zeldareview

The Legend of Zelda: Worst Franchise of the Century

Ebsuckygame

Some of Nintendo's games were known to cause diseases[1]

External Game TubesEdit

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