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A Balaclava is Stephen Colbert's personal choice of headress during a chilly winter night when he is supporting America, reading the Bible, and hunting bears.
Balaclavas can be found in their natural habitat as freedom-fighters, and were actually the ones who planted the flag at Iwo Jima. Balaclavas were also the real discoverers who uncovered Saddam Hussein's secret liberal hideout.
History of the Balaclava Edit
The balaclava originated with George Washington, who wore this fashionable accessory while crossing the Delaware. It was knit for him by his all-American housewife of a mother.
The balaclava is synonymous with freedom as well as Blankie from The Brave Little Toaster. The Brave Little Toaster is an all-American movie that stands for freedom and the bravery of our troops while fighting infidels, and should be viewed as often as possible.
In recent years, the balaclava has come under fire as being used as a mask for criminals and ninjas in their filthy liberal activities. The balaclava, however, is a righteous and sacred accessory that is approved by Baby Jesus and George W. Bush.
Trivia of the Balaclava Edit
Baby Jesus uses the balaclava to keep him warm while he sleeps in mangers.
The balaclava is not to be mistaken for the baklava, a dirty liberal’s “treat”. The baklava is a toxic object, often used to feed bears. It is an anti-American treat, and should you spot baklava, run. Osama Bin Laden has been quoted as saying, “I hate America,” While treating himself to a platter of baklava. Filthy terrorist.