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Nicholas Kristof

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Nicholas Kristof
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process
Newspaper
Al Franken
Nicholas Kristof
Belongs to The Vast Left-Wing Media Conspiracy
Al Franken
AnimatedCommieFlag
Nicholas Kristof has earned
the (Senator) Franken COMMUNIST-SOCIALIST-MARXIST SEAL OF APPROVAL
NicholasKristof

Mr. Kristof

Nicholas Kristof is a writer for The New York Times and avid economic hobbyist. He bought his wife from a catalog.

Stephen Was Kind Enough To Nail Mr. KristofEdit

Despite Kristof's reliance on "studies", Dr. Colbert took time out of his busy schedule on March 12, 2007 to give a personal nailing to Mr. Kristof.

During the nailing, Dr. Colbert reminded The Heroes about Kristof's collusion with the "Jew-run media," which he did not deny.


The Cost of a NailingEdit

Approximately half the world's population live on less than two American dollars a day, which means they don't have cable, and more than likely did not know what a real nailing looks like.

But, for the cost of a bus ticket to a public library, any American (with or without teeth) may have the joy of having the librarian read this article to them.

Mr. Kristof's Obsession With The Rest of The WorldEdit

For reasons beyond understanding (and feeling), Kristof spent the majority of his audience with Dr. Colbert bitching and moaning about places outside America's protective border.

Kristof was even holding a contest to send one teacher and one student on a trip to "Africa". With "prizes" like that, sir, it's going to take forever to get rid of all those public school students! What's second prize? Two trips to Africa?

Kristof has written at length in the New York Times about prostitution in much of Asia. One does not recall his articles mentioning the problem of prostitution throughout Japan, where it is openly legal. He has written, however, that he delights in having his Japanese corrected by his children.

Mr. Kristof Bings Himself and Plausibly Googles HimselfEdit

Mr. Kristof wrote in his Facebook column that he had used his computer to help him bing himself, describing himself as "an egotist," and it can be thus argued on truthy grounds that he very plausibly uses his computer also to help google himself. This is unsurprising because according to a study by the Center for Truth, whose membership includes this contributor, some say that most liberals google themselves, while conservatives only think about it.

July 1, 2009 NailingEdit

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  • New York Times columnist pollution causing genital mutations in frogs
  • too depressing for words
  • what's happening to frogs?
    • genitals
  • 100% of small mouth bass in Potomoc River are laying eggs
    • intersex fish
    • same thing with amphibians
  • the bright side is that there are still fish in the Potomoc River
  • penis deformation
  • the culprit
    • endocrine disruptors
  • pesticides, plastic softeners, etc.
  • 25% of U.S. women have dangerous levels that will cause their offspring to have deformed genitals
  • not a single chemical has been curbed by the EPA
  • not toxic waste, but toxic fill
  • water filtration systems do not clean up the birth control pills
    • Stephen is drinking lady pee
  • Congress might be able to pass a law to make them hold it
  • sewage treatment plants does not clean up the estrogen
  • Washington is full of both poo and pee

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