New York City (sometimes pronounced "Jew York City") is the biggest city ever. Tens of millions of Americans live in it. Mysteriously, it is located in the State of New York. A lot of people who live there are snobby liberal elitists and gay activist judges, but when their city is hit by airplanes (like on 9/11) it rallies them all together in the name of liberty, freedom, and democracy. Until 9/11, Real Americans hated New Yorkers; afterward, we liked them for a while, but now we are pretty much back to the hating. Call it the "Travolta Syndrome".
Things To Do In New York City When You're Dead... or AliveEdit
Most New Yorkers' favorite pastimes including shouting obscenities at taxi drivers, spraying graffiti on the walls of buildings and subway trains, kicking puppies, and forcing Polish people to live in tenement buildings. They also like to eat bagels.
Founding & The Invention Of Street GangsEdit
Tammany Hall & The Invention Of CorruptionEdit
Great White FlightEdit
Let's not forget about the "great white flight" of the 1960's and 1970's. When the white population flooded the outlying suburban towns escaping a budget crisis and soaring inner-city crime; thus the creation of the JAP (Jewish American Princess) took place. The JAP thought she was better than those "poor, ignorant, (white) people who still live in the city and are too poor to escape." Most JAPs reside in Long Island, however, many have been spotted in Westchester and Northern New Jersey.
New York City GeographyEdit
New York City is divided up into eight parts, called boroughs:
They are all awesome, except for Queens and the Bronx which are kind of shabby and seedy and messed up. Manhattan, however, has the lowest crime rate of any area in the world, and Staten Island is a verdant tropical paradise except for the huge amount of garbage. Immigrants used to have to come through Ellis Island, where the American authorities would spell their weird foreign names however they wanted to; they would then pass beneath the Statue of Liberty (which, as observed by Jon Stewart, is indeed located in New York City) before reaching the shore and promptly being hustled off to live in luxury, enjoying their new dream life in America.
See main article Manhattan
See main article Ellis Island
See main article Queens
See main article Staten Island
See main article The Bronx
See main article Harlem