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But we at Wikiality are sure they don't have to stop there. It's time to extend the Commandments concept into all aspects of life. So pick a category and suggest up to ten truthy Commandments by which heroes everywhere could live more American lives.
Make your suggestions belowEdit
- Honor Stephen by visiting Wikiality.com, The NoFactZone.net, and ColbertNation.com every day.
- Thou shalt never visit Wikip*dia.
- Thou shalt Google-bomb faithfully until Stephen is rightly seen as the Greatest Living American.
- Always refer to the Internet as tubes or dump trucks.
- Diligently wage the War on Norrisism throughout Wikiality.com.
- Thou shalt not harass male interns via email, for that job is already taken.
- Thou Shalt Type With Both Hands
Worldly Goods CommandmentsEdit
- Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's flat panel TV, thou shalt buy thyself a bigger one
- Thou Shalt Not Conserve Energy If There Is Energy To Be Had; Do Not Refuse A Natural Resources Gift From The Heavenly Father
- Thou shalt buy at least seven WristStrong bracelets every week
- Thou shalt not buy a foreign car, for only Hummers are acceptable
- Thou shalt purchase an iPhone and donate it to Stephen
- Thou shalt shop exclusively at Wal-Mart for food and useless junk
- Honor thy "Made in America" sign, unless a similar foreign-made product can be purchased for cheaper
- Thou shalt not buy any DVDs during the writers strike
Running For PresidentEdit
- I am the Lord, Thy Media, Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me!
- Thou Shalt Use The Name of Thy Media In Vain, For The Media Hath Bring Fuckedness Upon All Things
- Remember Thy Lobbyist, For He Is Holy
- Honor Thy Corporate Donors
- Thou Shalt Support The Death Penalty, Except in The Case of The Not Born
- Thou Shalt Not Admit Committing Adultery
- Thou Shalt Not Admit Stealing
- Thou Shalt Not Run A Campaign Without A P.R. Firm
- Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Rival's Delegates Before The Convention
- Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Rival's Donors Until After He Concedes
Commandments of PatriotismEdit
- Thous shalt not eat eagleburgers.
- Watch Colbert everytime, period.
- Tea is off limits, we're coffee drinkers on this side of the ocean.
- You will not consume any from the un-American foods or beverages list.
- You will not support nor reasearch any of the creatures on the Godless Killing Machine list, unless are reseraching how to kill and/or run from it.
- If you see a child consuming tofu, save him before the transformation begins.
- Vote in the next election, preferably for Colbert.
- Community service earns brownie points with God, Jesus, and COlbert, but only if it's done in America. Do lots of it.
- Covet your boss's stuff and try to get it, for such it the American way.
- Thou shalt honor The Greatest President in all you do.