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Navy
shows the proper respect America's Military deserves
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Navy
are Truthiness Crusaders!


The U.S. Navy is a highly sophisticated fighting force, the likes of which have never been seen on the oceans of the world-EVER! Founded in 1775 by Captain John Paul Jones, the most bad-ass ship captain to ever sail for the U.S. Navy. He decided that we should have a bunch of ships to sail around, and steal shit from the British. Eventuall he got bored, and decided to take one of those ships over to britain and destroy their ships before they could cross America's Ocean. This began the precident of forward-deploying ships to get them ready to kick the ass of any Navy with enough balls to want to tango with us.



At that time, the US Navy instituted a strict "no gays" policy. Following a severe backlash from many of its sailors, Admiral Clarence Twinkle, the first Chief of Naval Operations (CNO) modified the policy in 1983 to a much more accepted "try not to be so gay" policy. As a way of preserving its rich history, the US Navy has retained many of the same uniforms and terminology as were used in the days of the GPA. Bellbottom pants, neck scarves, bushy mustaches, and terms such as "seaman" and "coxswain" are just a few examples of the Navy's recognition of it's GPA heritage.

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Traditional Gay Pirates Association uniform

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Modern naval uniform

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modern naval uniform

Although the Navy has many large ships and hundreds of aircraft, their primary mission has been described as a taxi service for the US Marine Corps. In most situations, the Navy's mission in a combat situation is to pick up as many Marines as their boat can hold and deliver them close, but not too close so as to avoid any actual fighting, to the area of combat operations. The exception to this rule appears to be a special operations component of the Navy referred to as SEALs. Prominent Naval historians believe SEAL teams were founded by only the most masculine and heterosexual of Naval personnel.

TraditionsEdit

One of the most time-honored ceremonies in the GPA, and to this day in the Navy, is the Shellback Ceremony. Originally, the ceremony was a daily orgy where hard-working sailors could blow off steam at the end of a hard day, the modern ceremony is used sparingly (in accordance with the "try not to be so gay" policy) such as when the ship crosses the equator.

Other TradtionsEdit

  • The Order of the Blue Nose for sailors who have crossed the Arctic Circle.
  • The Order of the Red Nose for sailors who have crossed the Antarctic Circle.
  • The Order of the Golden Dragon for sailors who have crossed the International Date Line.
  • The Order of the Ditch for sailors who have passed through the Panama Canal.
  • The Safari to Suez for sailors who have passed through the Suez Canal.
  • The Royal Diamond Shellback for sailors who cross at 0 0 degrees off the coast of West Africa (where the equator crosses the Prime Meridian)
  • The Realm of the Czars for sailors who have crossed into the Black Sea.
  • The Order of Magellan for sailors who have circumnavigated the Earth.


Naval Fun FactsEdit

  • naval oranges are named after the Navy!
  • the Navy is the only homosexual organization mentioned in America's Bible!


See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

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