|Ask Yourself One Question: Do You Love Your Enemies and Pray for Those Who Persecute You? Well, Do Ya, Punk?|
|~ The Holy Bible, Matthew: 5:46|
National Rifle Association, the awesmomest, most patriotic organization ever. Liberals want to take away our right to have guns... and the NRA wants to shoot them and burn their bodies. The NRA realizes that the average citizen will need to be prepared for the Bear uprising of 2012, and will need personal arsenals to turn back the bear menace. The NRA is led by That guy from the original Planet of the Apes, Ted Nugent and Magnum PI.
Role of the NRAEdit
The National Rifle Association travels around in a bus called "The Mystery Machine" and with their large Great Dane, they hunt malicious "ghosts". (Usually, the "ghosts" turn out to be cans. Afri-cans, Mexi-cans, Puerto Ri-cans. Either that or Old Man Smithers) and Killer Turkeys.
After the successful 1999 convention in Littleton, Colorado, NRA officials announced they will be taking their tour around the country to promote their new slogan, "We're everywhere you are!"
"We'll be like a traveling revival of Constitutional rights: part God, part gun, no gays!" an unnamed spokesman announced during a December, 2007 press conference, "We have Real American Celebrities like Tom Selleck, Kurt Russell and Ricky Schroeder who will be speaking
toin communities like Colorado Springs, Colorado, Arvado, Colorado, Omaha, Nebraska, Salt Lake City, Utah and Kansas City, Missouri. The very places, where red-blooded Americans live and work and shop and worship Our Lord and Savior in the safety that only guns can provide."
"Our aim is to hit every American town, no matter how small," the spokesman promised.
More Cities have been added to the 2008 tour:
- Tinley Park, Illinois
- Kirkwood, Missouri
- Baton Rouge, Louisiana
- DeKalb, Illinois
- West Palm Beach, Florida
- Memphis, Tennessee
- Henderson, Kentucky
- Knoxville, Tennessee #1
- Little Rock, Arkansas
- Knoxville, Tennessee #2
- Live Oak, Texas
- Santa Clara, California
|Lesson learned: don't bring martial arts to a gun fight.|
- Geneva County, Alabama
- Oakland, California
- Carthage, North Carolina
- Binghamton, New York
- Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
- Priceville, Alabama
- Temecula, California
- Casselberry, Florida
- Dearborn, Michigan
- Long Beach, California
- Middletown, Maryland
- Athens, Georgia
- Okaloosa County, Florida
- Lakeland, Florida
- Middletown, Connecticut
- Baghdad, Iraq
- Mesa, Arizona
|MGILF: Moms with Guns I Would Like to Fire With|
- Arivaca, Arizona
- Wichita, Kansas
- Little Rock, Arkansas
- Washington, D.C.
- Albuquerque, New Mexico
- Parkersburg, Iowa
- Simi Valley, California
- Pensacola, Florida
- Baytown, Texas
- Capitol Hill, Washington D.C.
- Fayetteville, Tennessee and Huntsville, Alabama
- Houston, Texas
- Baltimore, Maryland
- East Point, Georgia
- Bridgeville, Pennsylvania
- Orlando, Florida
- Washington, D.C. Part II
- NY, Times Square
NRA's 2009 Special Tour: Anti-Socialized Medicine Town HallsEdit
- Arizona Town Hall
- Portsmouth, New Hampshire Town Hall
- Portsmouth High School
- Veterans of Foreign Wars convention in Arizona
NRA's 2009 Special Special Tour: Anti-communist EventEdit
NRA's 2010 Special Tour: Guns All Over The 50 StatesEdit
In 1545, Jesus and Ted Nugent decided that the only way to protect Real Americans was to give them guns—lots of them. Since then, it has been been constantly assailed by the forces of darkness, most notably Michael Moore, Al Franken, and all feminazis.
NRA to Partner with ATFEdit
Recently the ATF has decided to open their new brand store in Mexico to help Mexicans to defend themselves from the forces of tyranny.
|NRA Annual Meeting|
- Hello Kitty
- St. Francis of Assisi
- George W. Bush
- Stephen Colbert
- Ted Nugent
- Dick Cheney
- Walker Texas Ranger
- Jack Bauer
- Gerald Ford
- Mel Gibson
- Danny Glover
- Mitt Romney
- Millionaire Patriot
- That Dude from the Town Hall
Melanie HainMelaine Hain has just been recently shot by her enraged husbandrapture to Heaven so she wont be able to retain her honorary membership...
- This man for protecting America from terrorists
- Goldman Sachs
|How guns protects America from “undesirables” and terrorists!|
Every election, the NRA supplies their members with information in the form of
sponsored debates handy wallet cards listing talking points detailed explanations for only those initiatives pertinent to the group that are on the upcoming ballot.
For the 2008 United States Presidential election, the NRA supplied all their members (and subscribers to "The American Rifleman" magazine) with a well-thought-out informational packet that contained the following reminders:
- Obama wants to take your guns and give them to Al Qaeda
- liberals want to criminalize all gun use except for when they perform abortions
- NRA Endorses local shop. Their prices are so crazy, they are to kill for!!
- NRA Endorses Guns for Mentally Incapacitated Veterans
- NRA Store!
- NRA protects
terroristsAmerican right's to bear arms
- The NRA will send
medical suppliesguns to Iran to protect their democratic freedoms!
- NRA supports
- Special Offer!! Buy a truck, get an AK-47 for free!!!
- Ultra Rich man uses his millions to Arm all Americans!
- Obama to take away our guns!! SEE! SEE! WE TOLD YOU SO!!!
- Real American arrested for attempting self-defense!
- Real Americans to be able to protect themselves against train robbers
- Local Redneck uses Medieval gunlike weapon against aliens from outer space
- Another Victim of Government Bureaucracy. Anti-Gun Law kills another one
- NRA continues to save America
- NRA to visit Virginia for annual "Guns & Alcohol" Festival
- Utah to celebrate new pro-gun laws!
- God supports the NRA
- Real Americans to get guns to fight off the feminazis
- The NRA: Protecting
Serial Killers'Second Amendment Rights
- Prison guard finds free gun
- NRA to stop lesbian gun stealer
- Tree-hugging hippies to take all our guns!
- NRA to protect their guns from extra regulations
- Socialized Medicine now trying to steal our guns! THe horror!!!!
- How ATF is oppressing our rights for freedom and guns