Delicious, off-brand smokes enhanced with 10% more nicotine and made environmentally friendly through the use of other full, rich-tasting, and smooth cigarettes (that may have been used). It's a proven fact that fine tobacco products make their user better in every way. Anybody who says different is wrong. They are wrong, gay, and stupid!!!!!!!
- Make the smoker infinitely cooler.
- Stimulates areas of the brain that anable the smoker to use ten to twenty % more of their brain function.
- Are absolutely delicious!!
- Smell like a little piece o' heaven.
- Are recommended to athletes by experts.
- Are proven to repel homosexuals who are obviously preoccupied with your penis!
- Are looked down upon by filthy, idiotic foreigners.
- Cause cancer for sure. But what doesn't cause something, huh?
- Do not cause AIDS unlike fagism and born blackeosis.
- Nobody ever quits cigarettes, cigarettes quit nobodies.
- Tek Jansen has discovered their restorative properties, stemming from their ability to line the delicate tissues of the throat, esophagus and lungs with a soothing medicinal tar like substance, thereby strengthening them against the dangers of every day life. The process has been described as akin to "wearing a suit of armor on the inside."
- Makes your teeth brighter and freshens breath.
- Protects from dangerous situations and death by putting the smoker on Gods list of lucky smokers.
- Wikipedia's fine entry on the benefits of smoking - Warning: May include some facts not yet verified by cigarette manufacturers.