NASA Node 3

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NASA Node 3
is science-related, sending it straight to hell.

Iss Node 3

Node 3

NASA's Node 3, Serenity Colbert, is a module addition to the International Space Station. It contains some of the liberal's most advanced propaganda systems to date.

Node 3 Purpose Edit

NASA claims Node 3 will "provide room for many of the station’s life support systems, in the form of eight refrigerator-sized racks". Some systems allegedly being transferred over to Node 3 include The Oxygen Generation System (OGS), The Atmosphere Revitalization System (ARS), The Water Recovery System (WRS), The Urine Processor Assembly (UPA), and the waste and hygiene compartment[1]

The true purpose of NASA's liberal and atheist scientists is to install systems on Node 3 which will if activated broadcast brainwashing "Wikiwaves" across all of the America. Once a Wikiwave is heard by a person they will be brainwashed into believing in the false theory of "evolution" and will also convince that person that homosexuals are people too. It will take approximately two hours for the Wikiwaves to brainwash all of America's true citizens into believing false, anti-Christian bullshit.

Node 3 Naming Edit

NASA held a contest lasting until March 20th, 2009, that allowed anyone to vote for what they think the Node 3 should be named.

Poll Options Edit

The name poll included 4 options for pre-made names made by NASA and a 5th option for a custom user suggestion.

  • Earthrise
  • Legacy
  • Serenity
  • Venture
  • Select Your Own

Since the NASA names were extremely gay (especially you, Serenity), most intelligent users suggested their own.

Name it Colbert! Edit


Node 3 is named Colbert!

On the Colbert Report (March 4th, 2009), Stephen Colbert asked sweet America and her citizens to go to the "Help NASA Name Node 3!" page and suggest Colbert as the new name for the Node 3. It took a few days for the citizens of the Colbert Nation to get it right and realize the only name that should be suggested is Colbert and not Stephen Colbert or Truthiness.

NASA Poll Results Edit

Name NASA Node 3 Results
Final Voting Results Top 10 Suggestions
Selection Name Result Rank by % Suggestion Name Rank Suggestion Name Rank Suggestion Name Rank
Earthwise 9% 3rd COLBERT 1st SOCIALVIBE 5th SYNERGY 9th
Legacy 13% 2nd MYYEARBOOK 2nd BUDDY 6th VISION 10th
Serenity 70% 1st GAIA 3rd UBUNTU 7th
Venture 8% 4th XENU 4th TRANQUILITY 8th

On March 20th, 2009, NASA closed the name suggestion contest and at first glance it appeared that "Serenity" had won, but since Colbert was the top user suggestion, and since America is a democracy, Colbert is the real name of Node 3. Even if NASA says the name is "Serenity", the fact NASA is full of atheist fuckers makes their opinions null.

As the vote count revealed, the name Colbert had beat out Serenity by 40,000 votes, thus dubbing the module "Colbert". Congratulations Stephen!

Official UnveilingEdit


The C.O.L.B.E.R.T.

During the April 14, 2009 edition of "The Colbert Report," Astronaut Sunita Williams informed Stephen that NASA would--in factiness--not be gracing Node 3 with the Colbert name.

Before The Mob could retaliate, Captain Williams said that the Colbert name would still be going into space, but as a yet-to-be-launched treadmill called the Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance TreadmillEpisode #540

External TubesEdit


  1. Once it is formally named for Dr. Colbert, the node will also include the following upgrades:
    the Full-body Exfoliation Processing Containment Unit (FEPCU) and the Brass Ball Polishing Chamber (BBPC).

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