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Lorna Colbert is Dr. Colbert's mother, she is also is the sister of Mary, Jesus' Mother. The two were very good friends, and Lorna was inspired by Mary to become impregnated by God. God is actually Stephen's father, though the Liberal Media has terribly misconstrued this. Stephen and his mother are terribly close, though not in the Oedipus Rex or Ted Kennedy way, and Stephen values his mother as third on his list of loves, next to America and Truthiness. Lorna aided Stephen in the Great Bear war of 1996, and she was given a medal of honor, though Stephen pulled some strings with his two best friends, God and George W. Bush. Lorna has also served in World Wars One and Two, as well as Vietnam. She is a healthy 34 years old.