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MyFace.com came into being after Hillary Clinton flubbed a line at Rutgers University and confusing two other popular social networking tubes.
How do we use the new means of communication on the Internet? How do we use MyFace?
Hillary channeled Al Gore's Internet invention skills to create a new type of social network, geared towards political life and swelling the zombie hordes of liberal voters.
Using her vast Whitewater stash, she poured money and fanatical followers into getting it up within a matter of days. She had intended to use it as an evil haven for liberalism. But some vigilant Republicans got word of its existence and succeeded in forcing their way in.
MyFace.com's Cool Features Edit
MyFace.com automatically adapts to a user's vanity requirements. The Vanity setting changes the Welcome screen that appears after login.
Vanity Level 1 (Lowest): Anonymous
Vanity Level 2: Dinosaur
Vanity Level 3: Vain
Vanity Level 4 (Highest): Pompous
MyFace.com also has several levels of membership, each with an increasing degree of power. From level 6 onwards even ex-holders of this level can still join. The levels include:
Membership Level 1: Noobie
Membership Level 2: Intern
Membership Level 3: Lobbyist
Membership Level 4: Freshman Congressman
Membership Level 5: Presidential Aide
Membership Level 6: Regular Congressman
Membership Level 7: Senior Congressman
Membership Level 8: Governor
Membership Level 9: Vice President
Membership Level 10: President
A dating tool for matching lonely politicians up with sexy lobbyists.
- Tech Note: This feature has proven unstable during beta testing. An oxymoron protection fault error occurs whenever the application encounters the concatenated string "sexy" and "lobbyist".
Become An InternEdit
An entire section devoted to encouraging young visitors to the site to become Washington interns. To qualify to become an intern the user must simply:
- Have Noobie level membership
- Be "hot"
- Upload revealing and provocative photos of themselves
- "Republican Crusaders"
- "Closet Liberals"
- "Raging Liberals"
- "Political Whores"
- "Salon Socialists"
- "Good Old Boys"
"The Pork Barrel"Edit
The Pork Barrel is the name for the restricted debate and negotiation section of the site. It's where the politicians can barter over anything. Popular topics for negotiation include:
- The names and contact information of "hot" young people who come to the site. Converted interns are particularly prized.
- Lobbyist cash and discrete political favors.
Famous Users of MyFace.com Edit
- Hillary Clinton - Vanity Level: "Pompous", Screen Name: "the-ice-queen"
- Bill Clinton - Vanity Level "Vain", Screen Name: "Horney-4U"
- Mark Foley - Vanity Level "Vain", Screen Name: "intern_daddy"
- Jack Abramoff - Vanity Level "Anonymous", Screen Name: "injun-riches-1958"
- Ted Stevens - Vanity Level "Dinosaur", Screen Name: "TubeSurfTed"
- John Edwards - Vanity Level "Pompous", Screen Name: "dont_touch_the_hair"